Yep, I Just Peed

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After birthing to two massive children, I don’t exactly have the best bladder control. My first child was over nine pounds and my second was right at nine pounds. They scarred me for life. You don’t recover from something like that. (Although I hear there are a few surgical options out there but that’s a discussion for another day.)

I have recently come down with the nasty cold that is going around. Now on top of the runny nose, sneezing, cough, sore throat, swollen eyes, and headaches this miserable cold has brought me, I have to remember to cross my legs constantly. Not cross my legs in a funny way like “you better cross those legs before you get pregnant again.”  But, cross my legs as in, I’m about to sneeze and if I don’t cross my legs the floodgates will open and soak this couch I’m sitting on.

I have a hard enough time holding in my pee when I’m not sick. I mean, I go for a walk and 10 minutes in I realize I have to pee and the rest of the way home I’m waddling like a duck on crack because my pants are soaked. It’s a problem I just can’t hold it like I used to before babies.

The hardest part is standing up and having to sneeze or cough. How do I casually cross my legs and try to hold my pee in without anyone noticing? I guess I’d rather them notice me crossing my legs than me soaking my pants. Maybe I should invest in some sort of adult diapers? I’m not even 30 years old yet and I need to worry about peeing my pants. I need to think about wearing an ultra thick extra long maxi pad when I’m not even on my period. What the hell is this!?

Here is my advice, ladies. Just kidding I have none. I don’t know what to do. I just know it’s a problem and it sucks. Every time I sneeze I pee a little. Sometimes I pee a lot. That is just the way it is, I guess. Yet another glorious part of being woman!

Is this a problem for all of you mama’s out there? Or am I a weirdo that should go to the doctor because I have a problem?? Let me know in the comments!

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Vanessa - February 26, 2017 Reply

Hahaha love this! It’s the worst when you have a horrible cold and every time you cough, you have to cross your legs and hope you stopped the pee! I worry about my this all the time and make sure I always keep an empty bladder!

allisonasp - February 27, 2017 Reply

How old is your youngest? I think it gets better with time…

Janel Berchielli (@JanelB) - February 27, 2017 Reply

Sorry to all you moms new moms out there it does not get better it gets worse from here. My youngest of two kids is 13 years old and it wasn’t until just recently that I started to have this problem myself

Michelle - February 27, 2017 Reply

Very funny but true post, thanks for sharing

mumof5withagamblingaddiction - February 27, 2017 Reply

I love this so much!! I have 5 kids including twins biggest baby was 9lb3!!

Christina Beauchamp - February 27, 2017 Reply

This is too funny, i can only imagine to troubles!

Melissa - February 28, 2017 Reply

Oh you are certainly not alone. I recently had an awful cold myself (I have three bladder destroyers- 7,5, 17 months) and I literally had to sit on the toilet when I had a coughing fit. It was a new low.

Cassidy's Adventures - February 28, 2017 Reply

Your humor is great and brutally honest. I haven’t had kids yet, but I am prone to bladder infections and they have taken a toll on things.. if you know what I mean.

Jessie - February 28, 2017 Reply

Haha! Yup…definitely peed myseld postpartum because of a nasty cough!

Nicola Auckland - February 28, 2017 Reply

I have no advice other than stay away from the sodding trampolines. Whatever minuscule control you have will evaporate once you start bouncing and it’s hugely embarrassing to have to evacuate the kids and antibac.

Hannah P. - February 28, 2017 Reply

Hahaha I love this post. So honest and so blunt. I have only had 1 pretty small baby but still have awful bladder control. I remember trying to go on a run 2 months after giving birth and coming home with my leggings drenched in pee. It sucks!

joelletheyorkshirepudding - February 28, 2017 Reply

Brilliant! Thank you for the laugh and resultant pee! The irony 🙈

Elsa - February 28, 2017 Reply

Bahaha I love this, I feel like your speaking to my heart! I just gave birth to a 9.5 lb baby 4 months ago and I had no idea how much havoc it would reel on my bladder💕

Angela - March 1, 2017 Reply

So funny! I had a smaller baby, 6lbs 15oz, and still have that issue (not as much, I’m sure). Mine is more like, when I have to pee…I have to f-ing pee! Like I better be close to a bathroom!

How To Upset A Toddler - Super Sirrious Mom - March 10, 2017 Reply

[…] to pee my pants! I was laughing so hard. Okay, I actually did pee my pants but that’s another story. The workers just looked at me in shock, I suppose they didn’t know how to react. They were […]

Kat - July 11, 2017 Reply

Ah this is exactly me! I have a 17-month-old and she was small (6 lb 4 oz) and she’s in daycare so of course we are all sick all the time so I’m coughing all day and peeing myself constantly! I’m pregnant with my second so I’m sure it’ll only get worse from here! Lots of pantyliners!!

Mlav - July 26, 2017 Reply

I gave in and got some always liners for urine (they work differently than for a period because the fluid is different)
They are SO great I am no longer constantly a little (or a lot) wet. Plus thesmell is not there to deal with! It’s worth $5 just to try it out.

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