Top Five Reasons I Hate Going To Kids’ Birthday Parties

Do you know what I seriously hate doing? Going to kids’ birthday parties.

Okay, before you call me an evil witch just hear me out.

I am going to give you my top five reasons why I hate going to kids’ birthday parties. By the end of this you will completely agree with me. If not then I bet you can at least agree with one or two of them!

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  1. Screaming Kids – A bunch of little kids who just run around screaming for no apparent reason. If you didn’t load up on Tylenol or Xanax, this is probably going to make your brain explode. You will just stand there watching the other parents, praying that they will tell their children that there is no need to scream like they are being murdered.
  2. Crying Kids – SO MANY DAMN CRYING KIDS. It never fails, someone always falls down, or gets their feelings hurt, or is just a flat out brat. You hope to God it’s not your kid. Again, unless you loaded up on Xanax, the constant sound of whining kids is going to drive you insane.
  3. Small Talk – If you are like me then you know what I’m talking about. I HATE small talk. Seriously, I hate talking to people I don’t know. Unfortunately, I consider myself somewhat of an introvert and very socially awkward. I don’t want to talk to you, and let’s be real, you probably don’t want to talk to me either. I know we are just being polite but I would rather shove a pencil through my ear then make small talk with a stranger.
  4. Gossip – Yes, this gets looped in with small talk. For shit’s sake we are 30 somethings at a child’s birthday party.  Do we have to gossip?  I seriously do not care that you heard from your mom’s, aunt’s, dog’s cousin George that Debbie is cheating on Steve. Let me repeat that, I DO NOT CARE. I know some people live for gossip, and they just can’t help but tell a stranger a juicy secret. That person is just not me.
  5. Feeling of inadequacy – Don’t get me wrong, Pinterest perfect parties are adorable, and kudos to the mama who put it all together. I just am over the idea of a “perfect birthday party.” Like really, Debbie? Did you have to hand out party favors that include gourmet chocolate and i pods? At my kid’s birthday parties I just assumed the fact that I gave them cake was good enough? Now I feel like everyone is judging me because I didn’t plan super cool games or take a second mortgage out on our house just to throw a birthday party.

I may sound like a bit of an ass, but oh well. I mean, I DO take my kids to these birthday parties! Even if it hurts my soul I still do it! Usually I don’t let the other parents know how bothered I am by being there, hopefully they just think I am a super awesome normal mom!

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a terrible parent for feeling this way? Don’t answer that.

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katie mac - April 7, 2017 Reply

fellow introvert here and I feel ya on the small talk. so painful. thankfully my husband is an extrovert and loves being social, so I use the baby as an excuse and stay home… I can use that excuse until she’s like 5 right?

    Super Sirrious Mom - April 7, 2017 Reply

    Haha we are the same! My husband is an extrovert too! Yes, using the baby is the perfect excuse!! 😂😂

sweetfrivolity - April 7, 2017 Reply

Number 3 all the way! Doesn’t it feel like we should have left high school behind already?!

Michelle Anneliese - April 7, 2017 Reply

Pretty sure you’re not alone on this. Great post

Yuen Mi - April 7, 2017 Reply

I feel you pain. I also hate small talk. Everytime I go to a mall or a large event and notice an old classmate that I haven’t talked to for years, I always pretend I don’t notice them. What’s the point? Are we really gonna start touching base and keep in contact after meeting just once after all these years? I mean, if you haven’t made contact with a person for a year, it probably means that you dont care, and dont want to keep in contact. Sometime it doesnt work. They still come up, make small uncomfortable talk…and life goes on. I still don’t get small talk.

    Super Sirrious Mom - April 7, 2017 Reply

    Yes! I am right there with you!! I have no desire to make small talk! We know we both don’t care! Thank you for reading!

T.S. Joseph - April 7, 2017 Reply

I have never been to a kid’s party, but as I was reading your post I was thinking “oh, same, I would feel the same.” Nice one! 🙂

addisonmesser - April 7, 2017 Reply

I feel you on number 5. I don’t even take gifts to parties lately because of budget cut-backs and the sheer quantity of parties happening all of the time. Then they give extravagent party favors. Oops.

nicki - April 7, 2017 Reply

I am always the one who has to take my son to kids parties, they drive me nuts. It’s not so much the screaming kids its my son refussing to join in the dancing and then crying when it’s time to go home.

Nicola Auckland - April 8, 2017 Reply

Yep, hate them too. Luckily mine are old enough to be dropped off and picked up later now but when I had to stay I would find a corner and become invisible. The small talk requirement is the worst bit, I don’t want to speak to you at school (which is why I don’t) and I certainly don’t want to speak to you here where I am trapped by childproof gates and lattes.

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