You finally did it. Dove in and created your mom blog. Everything is perfect. You have great content, but how do you get it out there? How do you send more traffic to your blog? I have the answer for you and it’s one word. Pinterest. Continue reading “The Ultimate Guide To Growing Your Blog With Pinterest”
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I’m going to Breastfeed, Now What?
The internet is filled with endless amounts of information. But, how do you know what is real? I am here to help you. From my years of experience and expertise of having a little one attached to my boob, I am going to share with you must have items for nursing moms. Continue reading “Ten Must Have Items For Breastfeeding Moms”
I recently surveyed a bunch of moms and started addressing the issues that they told me they were having. Last week we addressed social media and motherhood.
This week we are going to address one, that actually really resonates with me. Someone mentioned,
“how do I entertain my children when I am exhausted but don’t want them watching TV all day.”
Do you know what I seriously hate doing? Going to kids’ birthday parties.
Okay, before you call me an evil witch just hear me out.
I am going to give you my top five reasons why I hate going to kids’ birthday parties. By the end of this you will completely agree with me. If not then I bet you can at least agree with one or two of them!
- Screaming Kids – A bunch of little kids who just run around screaming for no apparent reason. If you didn’t load up on Tylenol or Xanax, this is probably going to make your brain explode. You will just stand there watching the other parents, praying that they will tell their children that there is no need to scream like they are being murdered.
- Crying Kids – SO MANY DAMN CRYING KIDS. It never fails, someone always falls down, or gets their feelings hurt, or is just a flat out brat. You hope to God it’s not your kid. Again, unless you loaded up on Xanax, the constant sound of whining kids is going to drive you insane.
- Small Talk – If you are like me then you know what I’m talking about. I HATE small talk. Seriously, I hate talking to people I don’t know. Unfortunately, I consider myself somewhat of an introvert and very socially awkward. I don’t want to talk to you, and let’s be real, you probably don’t want to talk to me either. I know we are just being polite but I would rather shove a pencil through my ear then make small talk with a stranger.
- Gossip – Yes, this gets looped in with small talk. For shit’s sake we are 30 somethings at a child’s birthday party. Do we have to gossip? I seriously do not care that you heard from your mom’s, aunt’s, dog’s cousin George that Debbie is cheating on Steve. Let me repeat that, I DO NOT CARE. I know some people live for gossip, and they just can’t help but tell a stranger a juicy secret. That person is just not me.
- Feeling of inadequacy – Don’t get me wrong, Pinterest perfect parties are adorable, and kudos to the mama who put it all together. I just am over the idea of a “perfect birthday party.” Like really, Debbie? Did you have to hand out party favors that include gourmet chocolate and i pods? At my kid’s birthday parties I just assumed the fact that I gave them cake was good enough? Now I feel like everyone is judging me because I didn’t plan super cool games or take a second mortgage out on our house just to throw a birthday party.
I may sound like a bit of an ass, but oh well. I mean, I DO take my kids to these birthday parties! Even if it hurts my soul I still do it! Usually I don’t let the other parents know how bothered I am by being there, hopefully they just think I am a super awesome normal mom!
Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a terrible parent for feeling this way? Don’t answer that.
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I keep seeing all of these posts about making the perfect Easter Basket for your child. What in the hell is a perfect Easter basket? Have I been doing this wrong the last couple of years? Is my son going to grow up hating me because he found out I, er the Easter bunny, didn’t make him the perfect basket?
I won’t lie, I’ve looked on Pinterest before for some ‘non candy Easter basket’ ideas. I really don’t like to load my children up on sweets. Don’t get me wrong I’ll let them have some, but basically I just get the candy for me. It’s the same for every holiday, I get my son the good chocolates, then let him have one and hide the rest for me. It’s a mom win, trust me.
After seeing all of these perfect Easter basket posts, I decided I needed to help all of the other Easter bunny Mamas out there. The perfect Easter basket, is whatever you want it to freaking be! If you want tons of candy, bubbles, and toys, heck ya! If you buy organic snacks with educational only books, sweet! There is no damn perfect Easter basket. There is no perfect mom so quit trying!
I say there is no perfect mom, but I think I come pretty damn close. Since I am so close to perfect I figured I would share what I normally put in my children’s Easter baskets.
For my son, who is two years old, I would put:
Bubbles- lots of freaking bubbles. They entertain him for hours and they are cheap.
Candy- A few pieces of any candy that looks delicious to me. I shove them in a plastic egg then Bam!
A book- Usually something Easter, spring, or Christian related, because, you know, why not?
Stuffed Animal- For the last two years my son has received some sort of stuffed animal, he seriously loves them. So a cheap ass duck is just perfect.
Play-Doh- He loves Play-Doh and you know, I’m a cool mom.
BAM! That’s one cool Easter basket! I usually find a few odds and ends that I shove in there, snacks, small toys, paints.
For my daughter, who is six months old:
Cute ass headbands and spring outfit- because I can. (Here is a discount code so you can order something super cute for cheap!)
20% Off with code HELLOAPRIL at Gymboree
Teethers: Lots of damn teethers. I’ll get spring looking ones.
A Book: again, something Easter, spring, or Christian related. I want both kids to be smart, not just one.
Candy- Chocolates and candy that are for mommy only. It just makes me feel better that I didn’t buy it all for myself.
A stuffed Animal- because, duh.
She is a little harder because she is so young, if her basket seems too empty to me maybe I’ll throw in a rattle or a cute pair of shoes she’ll never wear. Maybe even a cute floppy hat.
Again, BAM! Two perfect Easter baskets! Super cheap and super amazing. There is no wrong way to make a damn basket, so don’t stress out thinking you are not doing enough, or that you will be shamed by all of the other mommies. You will do just perfect!
I have shared links for all items that I would buy for my children, these are my affiliate links which means I do make a small commission on any purchases. For more information please see my Disclaimer + Policy.
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I completely suck at being a “house wife.” I believe I take pretty good care of my children but I suck at the whole “keep your house clean” thing.
If you look at my personal Pinterest boards, I have about 5,463 pins on things like, How to keep your house spotless and DIY Cleaners that are good for the environment, but let’s be real. Who the F has time for that?? Why spend five hours making these cleaners that apparently will make your house smell like you fart butterflies, when you could spend that time asleep, or watching family feud?
About an hour before my husband comes home from work everyday, I run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to clean up. I hate cleaning. I run to do the dishes and notice we are out of dishwasher detergent. Son of A F&$# B*%$!!
There is no way in hell I am taking my children to the store. So I decide to look on Pinterest! There has got to be some way I can make some sort of DIY detergent.
Yes there are 11,000 freaking ways to make homemade dishwasher detergents. I start scrolling and noticed I am being sucked in by the power of Pinterest. There must be some secret code written into these pins that hypnotize you. Why make a simple one time dishwasher detergent when you could make 100 eco friendly detergent tabs that smell like lemons and lavender. Yes Pinterest, you are right. I need to make those, what was I thinking? I totally have time for that.
I find one I like, it has a pretty picture. Ok, ingredients, washing soda. WTF is washing soda?? It’s probably baking soda. Google, is washing soda and baking soda the same thing? No. But you can make washing soda by baking baking soda for an hour. Baking baking soda, are you kidding me?
What else do I need, silicone molds. Oh ok let me just pull those out. Who the hell has washing soda and silicone molds handy at all times? Who am I, Martha freakin’ Stewart?
Next, I do the only thing any married woman with kids would do, I call my mom. Mom do you have any washing soda and silicone molds? Uh, what’s that? I don’t know, it sounds like something old people should have on hand. No, I don’t think so. Crap.
Ok, back to Pinterest to find an easier way to make a quick detergent. I find one that instructs you to use two tablespoons of baking soda, and one teaspoon of dawn and run dishwasher as normal. Perfect I have those ingredients, let’s try it. I start the dishwasher then think, wait won’t the dawn make it all sudsy in here?
Text husband: We were out of dishwasher soap so I made some DIY stuff from Pinterest. I hope it doesn’t get messy. Haha.
He probably thinks, Why the hell did I marry this crazy lady?
It didn’t get messy. It actually kind of worked. I’m not going to lie I really want to make those homemade soaps. I probably won’t, but I want too. Maybe after a bottle of wine I’ll be inspired!
Are you a Pinterest DIY-er? Have you ever had any epic fails? Tell me in the comments!
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