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Why Are Moms Always So Tired?

Why are moms always so tired

Being a mom comes with a guarantee that you will be tired for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Okay, I’m not sure about the rest of your life because my oldest child is two. I am convinced though, I may never sleep again.

My youngest is about seven months old now and finally sleeping through the night. She only woke up about three-four times last night for a boobie. Alright, so maybe she doesn’t sleep through the night. Why do I keep telling people that? She doesn’t wake up screaming anymore and doesn’t need to be rocked, bounced, swung, fed, changed, and the witness of an animal sacrifice just to fall back asleep. Thank God, we were running out of chickens.

So WHY am I still so tired? I mean my daughter usually wakes up between 5-6 am and my son usually wakes up between 6-7 am. With my daughter only waking up three-four times at night that should be plenty of rest, right?

Now that I think of it, I am getting plenty of rest. We start our bedtime routine at 7 pm usually. I don’t have super-mom powers, so sometimes it’s 8 pm..9 pm. Whatever, quit judging me. It doesn’t matter what time I start our bedtime routine because my son HATES SLEEP. If we happen to start our routine at seven and are in bed before eight, my son will usually fall asleep pretty quick. By pretty quick I mean around midnight.

Let’s recap. I’m getting plenty of sleep.

Falling asleep around midnight,  waking up three-four times with the baby throughout the night, then waking up between 5 and 6 am. Okay, I am seriously not seeing the problem. Even if I was not getting enough sleep at night it’s not like I do anything during the day except lay around. I’m a stay at home mom for goodness sake.

The only things I do all day with the kids is feed, bathe, dress, play with, teach, read to, care for, and change their diapers. Then I only do a few things around the house, such as cook, clean, laundry, dishes, vacuum, and sweep. None of these few things I do all day are tiring. I should have plenty of energy to accomplish those things I might do that day.
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I absolutely can not wrap my mind around why I am so tired! Maybe I am oversleeping. Maybe I have too much time to myself. I can usually go pee by myself once a day and get a shower every three days. That has to be the problem. I am relaxing too much. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, right? I’m pretty sure I just hit you with some physics.

I guess I will never know why I am so damn tired. It’s okay though, that is why God invented coffee. That is why God invented Starbucks. God invented coffee for moms. For lazy moms who oversleep and do nothing, like me!

Are you a tired mom? Are you like me and have absolutely no idea why you are so tired? Tell me in the comments!

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Why are Moms always so tired?

Top Five Reasons I Hate Going To Kids’ Birthday Parties

Do you know what I seriously hate doing? Going to kids’ birthday parties.

Okay, before you call me an evil witch just hear me out.

I am going to give you my top five reasons why I hate going to kids’ birthday parties. By the end of this you will completely agree with me. If not then I bet you can at least agree with one or two of them!

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  1. Screaming Kids – A bunch of little kids who just run around screaming for no apparent reason. If you didn’t load up on Tylenol or Xanax, this is probably going to make your brain explode. You will just stand there watching the other parents, praying that they will tell their children that there is no need to scream like they are being murdered.
  2. Crying Kids – SO MANY DAMN CRYING KIDS. It never fails, someone always falls down, or gets their feelings hurt, or is just a flat out brat. You hope to God it’s not your kid. Again, unless you loaded up on Xanax, the constant sound of whining kids is going to drive you insane.
  3. Small Talk – If you are like me then you know what I’m talking about. I HATE small talk. Seriously, I hate talking to people I don’t know. Unfortunately, I consider myself somewhat of an introvert and very socially awkward. I don’t want to talk to you, and let’s be real, you probably don’t want to talk to me either. I know we are just being polite but I would rather shove a pencil through my ear then make small talk with a stranger.
  4. Gossip – Yes, this gets looped in with small talk. For shit’s sake we are 30 somethings at a child’s birthday party.  Do we have to gossip?  I seriously do not care that you heard from your mom’s, aunt’s, dog’s cousin George that Debbie is cheating on Steve. Let me repeat that, I DO NOT CARE. I know some people live for gossip, and they just can’t help but tell a stranger a juicy secret. That person is just not me.
  5. Feeling of inadequacy – Don’t get me wrong, Pinterest perfect parties are adorable, and kudos to the mama who put it all together. I just am over the idea of a “perfect birthday party.” Like really, Debbie? Did you have to hand out party favors that include gourmet chocolate and i pods? At my kid’s birthday parties I just assumed the fact that I gave them cake was good enough? Now I feel like everyone is judging me because I didn’t plan super cool games or take a second mortgage out on our house just to throw a birthday party.

I may sound like a bit of an ass, but oh well. I mean, I DO take my kids to these birthday parties! Even if it hurts my soul I still do it! Usually I don’t let the other parents know how bothered I am by being there, hopefully they just think I am a super awesome normal mom!

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a terrible parent for feeling this way? Don’t answer that.

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Why Moms Should Never Go To Their Happy Place

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I have come to realize that I go to my happy place far too often. My Happy Place isn’t exactly a ‘happy’ place. It is more of a quiet place where I go in my mind. It is where I tune out all noise around me. I usually go here when my children are being crazy, I just tune them out, and go to my dark, quiet, serene, happy place.

The problem with tuning my children out to go to my happy place, is just that. I tune my children out. When is that ever a good idea? I know this makes me sound like a bad mom, but if you have two children and you’ve never gone to your happy place, well, then you are a damn liar.
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I have been so tired lately, and really behind on all of my work. Obviously, that means my two year old needs to act like he does crack and be as crazy as he possibly can. He usually just runs around yelling the same thing over and over. This is the perfect time for me to tune out and think about what I need to catch up on. I can see him and make sure he’s safe, I just can’t hear him.

Tonight, my six month old baby was sitting on my lap, while my son sat in front of her playing with her. Perfect time to tune out. I blocked out the kids since they were just fine, entertaining each other. After a few minutes, I tune back in when I notice that my son keeps sticking his finger in the baby’s mouth. I hear him say “just eat it baby sister” several times.

In a panic I shove my finger in her mouth swabbing for anything he might have put in there. I don’t feel anything so I keep asking my son, “WHAT DID YOU PUT IN HER MOUTH??” He just looks at me and whispers several times. After about five minutes of me interrogating him and swabbing the baby’s mouth, he finally says, It was a booger

Why would you put a booger in your baby sister’s mouth??

He had no answer, he knew he was in deep shit. I finally remove my finger from my poor daughters mouth, and I see it. A big juicy disgusting booger right inside her lip. What is it with my son and putting boogers where they don’t belong? I had to explain to him that we never, ever, ever put anything in the baby’s mouth, and explain that she could choke and it’s not funny.

Next, I tried to talk to him about where he puts his boogers. I explained to him that his sister’s mouth is the worst possible spot he could ever put his booger. While explaining this to him I tried so hard to keep a straight face. I had to turn my head a few times so he couldn’t see me laughing. This is one of those situations where it’s not funny but it is funny. Yes, I know great parenting moment #135 from me.

The fact that my son feels the need to feed his sister his juicy boogers definitely shows me that I tune out way too much. Maybe he was just trying to be a good big brother? Maybe he knew that she was hungry and that boogers are full of protein? He was probably just trying to be helpful. I bet that’s it.

What is the most disgusting thing your child has ever done? I want to hear your horror stories!

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How To Make The Perfect Easter Basket

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I keep seeing all of these posts about making the perfect Easter Basket for your child. What in the hell is a perfect Easter basket? Have I been doing this wrong the last couple of years? Is my son going to grow up hating me because he found out I, er the Easter bunny, didn’t make him the perfect basket?

I won’t lie, I’ve looked on Pinterest before for some ‘non candy Easter basket’ ideas. I really don’t like to load my children up on sweets. Don’t get me wrong I’ll let them have some, but basically I just get the candy for me. It’s the same for every holiday, I get my son the good chocolates, then let him have one and hide the rest for me. It’s a mom win, trust me.

After seeing all of these perfect Easter basket posts, I decided I needed to help all of the other Easter bunny Mamas out there. The perfect Easter basket, is whatever you want it to freaking be! If you want tons of candy, bubbles, and toys, heck ya! If you buy organic snacks with educational only books, sweet! There is no damn perfect Easter basket. There is no perfect mom so quit trying!

I say there is no perfect mom, but I think I come pretty damn close. Since I am so close to perfect I figured I would share what I normally put in my children’s Easter baskets.

For my son, who is two years old, I would put:

Bubbles- lots of freaking bubbles. They entertain him for hours and they are cheap.

Candy- A few pieces of any candy that looks delicious to me. I shove them in a plastic egg then Bam!

A book- Usually something Easter, spring, or Christian related, because, you know, why not?

Stuffed Animal- For the last two years my son has received some sort of stuffed animal, he seriously loves them. So a cheap ass duck is just perfect.

Play-Doh- He loves Play-Doh and you know, I’m a cool mom.

BAM! That’s one cool Easter basket! I usually find a few odds and ends that I shove in there, snacks, small toys, paints.

For my daughter, who is six months old:

Cute ass headbands and spring outfit- because I can. (Here is a discount code so you can order something super cute for cheap!)
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Teethers: Lots of damn teethers. I’ll get spring looking ones.

A Book: again, something Easter, spring, or Christian related. I want both kids to be smart, not just one.

Candy- Chocolates and candy that are for mommy only. It just makes me feel better that I didn’t buy it all for myself.

A stuffed Animal- because, duh.

She is a little harder because she is so young, if her basket seems too empty to me maybe I’ll throw in a rattle or a cute pair of shoes she’ll never wear. Maybe even a cute floppy hat.

Again, BAM! Two perfect Easter baskets! Super cheap and super amazing. There is no wrong way to make a damn basket, so don’t stress out thinking you are not doing enough, or that you will be shamed by all of the other mommies. You will do just perfect!

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How I Stopped Laundry From Controlling My Life

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That’s it! I quit! HOW IN THE HELL IS THERE SO MUCH LAUNDRY IN MY HOUSE? There are four of us total. For shits sake, I hardly ever change my clothes (Gross, I know.) I can wear the same pair of yoga pants for 3 days straight. So how in the hell are these three baskets full of dirty clothes? How does every room in the house have piles of clothes that my baby can get lost in?Continue reading

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