Every night, in my bed, is an adventure.
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My husband and I co sleep with our two children, ages two years old and six months. (We practice safe co sleeping, don’t worry.) My son still likes to sleep on my face, which means his feet are up his daddy’s nose all night. My husband probably wishes our kids would sleep in their own beds. Then there is my daughter who likes to snuggle into me. I don’t mind, but I can’t move all night, and I usually wake up with a sore back.
The other night I was laying in bed, covered in kids, and I was irritated. I was so tired, my back hurt, I just wanted to roll over and get comfy. Then something hit me. A wave of calmness and love washed over me.. I felt so guilty for being irritated with my kids. I had tears in my eyes, thinking about how lucky I was to have my beautiful babies in bed with me. So I grabbed my son’s and my daughter’s hands and held them tight. Then I examined each of their beautiful faces, while I prayed and gave thanks for my sweet kids.
I don’t know what came over me but I needed it. I was feeling a bit “at the end of my rope,” with the lack of sleep and the lack of me time. Then I was reminded of how fast my kids are growing up. Some day, they won’t want to sleep with mommy or hold my hand. Just the thought of that absolutely breaks my heart.
So for now, I will let them sleep with me. Someday they will be grown and it will just be me and my husband in our big lonely bed. I will just plan to catch up on all of my sleep then. On the other hand, I’ll probably just stay up all night wondering if they are okay or what they are doing.
Have you read the book, “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch? I am the lady from that book. Every time I read it, I cry like a little baby. The problem is I will probably sneak into my kids’ houses at night and crawl in bed with them. Their spouses won’t mind, right? They better not. I let my kids sleep with me for their entire childhood, so the least they could do is let me sleep with them when they are grown! Is that creepy? Ya, I don’t care.
Snuggling them at night might be exhausting but it’s okay. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would rather go to bed in a full bed with a full heart, than in an empty bed with an empty heart.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? I know not everyone co-sleeps, but have you ever had a moment where you are overwhelmed with love? Where you suddenly feel guilty for being upset with your child? Tell me in the comments, I would love to hear your stories!
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