The Day I She-Hulked

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I used to take my son to a playgroup for children three and under. I was trying to do my duty of being a good mom by not turning my son into a complete recluse(like his mother). It appeared to be working as E was very social at that time. One special day, a couple of kids showed up. E was by far the youngest, only being one.

There was a mom who brought her mother and a friend along. They sat in the corner talking; ignoring the kids the entire time. They were constantly swearing and kept going outside to smoke. I was irritated, but I thought maybe they were having a bad day. I just kept engaging with the children.

Finally, it was time to go outside. E grabbed a ball and was playing by himself. I stood back a little bit to give him free range. Then the little girl of the swearing mom came up to him. Let’s call her Rosie(she reminded me of a mini version of Rosie O’Donnell).

Rosie, who was about 3 but looked about 5, approached E and grabbed the ball from him. She took off with it, and E just stood there unsure of how to react. I gave him a second to see how he would handle the situation. I look over at Rosie’s mom, Ms. McSmokeface, who hadn’t even looked up to notice that her daughter just stole a toy from a little boy.

I decided to approach Rosie.

“Rosie, that wasn’t very nice, if you want to play with the ball you need to ask E if you can play with it. Please give it back to E.” I don’t know what the rules are on approaching other people’s children, but since her mother did nothing, and my son was so much younger I decided to say something. Not like Ms. McSmokeface even noticed.

Rosie gave the ball to E and stood by him as if she were going to play with him. I gave them some space again. I was thinking everything was fixed, and they would play together! Wrong. Little Rosie walked up to E, took the ball from him, and shoved him down!

I instantly “she-hulked” My eyes turned a dark shade of green. My muscles grew so big that my shirt was ripping, and veins were popping out everywhere. I was PISSED. I turn to look at Rosie’s mom while growling and foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. She saw the entire thing and what did she do? She turned back to her friend and continued to talk. Something snapped inside of me, and I turned into the Mom-ster that no one should ever have to see.

I started walking towards Rosie, banging my fists against my chest like a wild ape. Helicopters swarmed the skies with snipers ready to shoot. The National Guard rolled in driving huge tanks, ready to put the beast down.

The friend of Ms. McSmokeface knew it was about to go down. She grabbed Rosie’s mom by the arm and made her walk over to Rosie. They must have seen the look in my eye, and started to run to Rosie.

Ms. McSmokeface’s friend, told Rosie, “That wasn’t nice, you need to say sorry,” and that was the end of it.

Rosie didn’t say sorry.

McSmokeface didn’t apologize.

I believe steam was coming out of my ears, and I could feel words coming to my mouth that should never be spoken in front of children. I picked up my son, who was staring at me wondering why I had turned into the incredible hulk, and we left.

I’m not the perfect mom, some situations I just can’t handle with grace and class. My way of handling this situation was turning into a wild animal, running circles around the kids all while foaming at the mouth.

Some of this post is contradictory to my post “Stop the Hate.” The name calling that appears in this post are for humor purposes only, to explain how I felt during this situation.

Have you ever been in a situation where your mama bear instinct kicked in? Have you ever “she-hulked?” Let me know below! I won’t judge you!

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Photo credit: Gwendal_ via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA

8 thoughts on “The Day I She-Hulked”

  1. I have been in the exact position and I was ready to loose it on the parent,lucky I had my teenage niece with me and she handled the situation in not good so good way. But it was much better than what i would have done, You did the right thing by walking away, I don’t know what some of these moms think

  2. I did not walk away but didn’t She-Hulk either. Hey I’m a therapist and I’m all about psychological warfare! The other mother’s crime? She left a toddler in a shopping cart and I guess, tired of pushing it around or tired of the baby’s crying, she just parked it in the bed and bath isle of a Target store and wandered off…FOR 8 MINUTES!!! Completely out of sight and earshot!!

    I planted myself next to the distraught tiny girl and waited…plotting. Two more minutes and I would have dialed 911 and headed, shopping cart and girl in tow, for store management. I mean, how is this any different really from leaving a little kid in the car while you go shop!!

    The “mother” came back just in time but I pulled out my best Oscar performance ever!

    I broke down and cried in faked (at least, at first) relief and asked her if she had heard the news just last week about the toddler who had been kidnapped right out from under her mother’s nose in a big store just like this one? I cried harder and told her that story was about my NIECE and even though, with the help of an Amber Alert, little Emily was rescued just 5 hours later, my sister will NEVER recover from the trauma. And who knows what really happened to 22 month old Emily during that time!

    I poured it on THICK and this mother folded into a busted, remorse filled, and terrified puddle.

    What can I say? I’m a total mean bitch, but when it comes to the safety of kids, tough shit!

    I’d bet my life that woman NEVER left her daughter like that again!

    Thanks for your post!!

  3. It can be SO hard to not hulk out when some other kid is treating your kid poorly. And it’s even harder when the parents don’t seem involved or as if they don’t care. I would have done the exact same thing. There is no judgement here 🙂

  4. A Native American told me that my spirit animal is a grizzly bear, and that my totem name is Mother Bear…. yeah, they fit me pretty well.
    I have to stop myself from ripping kids throats out, because they won’t leave mine alone. I mean, obviously they’re bugged, people! I can’t stay two minutes after church anymore because of clingy children who pretty much live for strangling mine.
    Then I come home, where I live with my mom and my siblings, and my youngest sister is a year older than my oldest… I’ve caught her several times choking, sitting on, and biting my son. I’ve grabbed her and thrown her away from my kids, and my mom gets mad at me. “She was just hugging/playing with them.” BULL CRAP!
    My youngest sister hasn’t been allowed to get anywhere near my 3mo old baby, without me there.

    1. Oh my gosh!!!! I would go CRAZY!!! I don’t know what I’m going to do when my son goes to school because I will go absolutely insane when a kid picks on him! I will tackle the kid and then find his parents and tackle them too!!
      I don’t blame you, girl! I wouldn’t let them around my baby either!!

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