September 6, 2018

Random Acts Of Kindness Your Children Will Love

random acts of kindness to do with your children.

Random acts of kindness are the perfect way to discover positive living with your children.

This is step two in your journey of, teaching your children to live a happy and positive life. If you missed step one check it out here!

For the last week, you have been working on communication with your children. Teaching them to use their words and express their feelings. Hopefully, some of those communication skills are rubbing off on you as well!

When learning about positive living it’s important to remember that giving is crucial. Living a selfish life will only attract negativity. We, as a parenting community, need to come together and teach the children of the world what it means to give instead of receive.Continue reading

August 30, 2018

How To Improve Your Child’s Communication Skills

How To Improve Your Child’s Communication Skills

We may make a profit from the links in this post. 

Positive living isn’t only for adults. As parents, we need to incorporate our children into our positive living journeys. 

This is the first step in a four-step series, called, “Teaching our children to live a positive and happy life.”

By the end of the series, you will have learned several ways to work positive living in your child’s life. You will notice a huge difference in your child’s behavior including, gratitude, self-love, confidence, and communications skills.

When living a positive life it’s important to remember simple positive parenting tips.Continue reading

How To Live Your Best Life

Best life

We all have goals and dreams that we constantly think about.

The problem is we don’t take the action needed to pursue our dreams. We see them as out of reach or unrealistic.

Not Anymore!

Best Life

You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to follow your dreams and crush your goals.

It’s not easy and you certainly may fail at times. It’s like my favorite quote these days, “What if I fail? Oh, but darling, what if you fly?”

No reward comes without risk. And if it did, I can tell you that you probably didn’t work hard enough for that reward.

When creating your best life you are creating the best life that you are in now. While working on creating your dream life. To do this you need to identify what your dreams are. What are your life goals? If you were living your dream life today what does it look like?

Write down those details in your favorite journal and make a plan.

How Do I Even Start?

Organization:

Start by organizing your life today. A cluttered life is not a happy life. That is not your best life. You need to organize your house, your car, your time, and your mind.

Your home should be your sanctuary. Especially your bedroom. When you walk in you want to feel comfort and joy. This can be a hard task when there are little ones running around but do the best you can. Get rid of unnecessary items in your house as soon as possible.

Organize your time. Use a planner to plan out your months and days. This will help you stay on top of your tasks and events.

Set A Routine:

A daily routine will help you live your best life. Wake up before your kids to prepare for your day. Have a cup of coffee by yourself on the porch in silence.

Your routine should also include your daily chores and me time. Staying on top of your cleaning needs will make for a much calmer and relaxed house. While your me time is necessary for self-care. Simple schedule in time for a bubble bath or yoga class.

Cut Negativity Out:

This can be a broad subject but it needs to be done asap. You are not living your best life if the highlight of YOUR day is talking about someone else. Stop gossip, rumors, and any negative thoughts towards other people.

This also includes cutting negative people out of your life. This is a hard task but you can’t fly when someone is holding you on the ground.

Stop thinking negatively about yourself. You need to always have a positive mindset about your body, health, life, and more. One negative thought will drag you right back down and lose all the progress you have made.

Positive Affirmations:

When you lose the negative thoughts and replace them with happy thoughts it changes your entire state of mind. when something in your life happens you tend to look on the bright side of life.

Always remember you get what you give. If you are a mean and negative person the universe recognizes that and sends you negative energy and a negative life. You will never truly be happy.

When you beam happiness and positivity the universe also recognizes this. Say your affirmations everuday and watch how fast the universe starts to favor you.

Work Hard:

This may seem fairly obvious but you cannot accomplish your goals without working hard.

So many people these days want the perfect life, with the perfect house, a dog, and a white picket fence. But, they want to sit on their rear end and act like the universe owes them.

Set a goal and go for it. Find a problem in your life and fix it.

What is the biggest problem in your life now? Money?

How can you fix that?

Create a short term and long term plan to fix your financial problems. These usually don’t get better overnight but you would be amazed to see you could pay off your debt and save money in less than a year when you try.

Maybe your dream is to be a business owner. if you want to be successful you always have to remember it is going to take a lot of work. Change your mindset and let it set in that you need to work harder.

Be Happy:

You aren’t the best version of you unless you are happy.

If you genuinely are not happy you need to find the problem points. Make a list of the things in your life that make you unhappy.

Now make a plan to fix them.

Self-care if a major part of your happiness. When you don’t take care of yourself how will you be able to take care of others? If you can’t take care of yourself now how will you accomplish your goals?

Always remember that you are important and DESERVE to be happy.

These above tips are just the start to put you on the right track to living your best life. Remember to do what makes you happy every day.

Come back next week to check out the next steps in creating your best life!

 

How To Conquer Your Self-Doubt

How To Conquer Your Self-Doubt

In our journey to live a more happy and positive life, we have learned how important it is to love ourselves!

Self-love can take some practice and you may fall down a few times. Especially when the self-doubt kicks in.

Self-doubt is when you second guess yourself. When you over think every little step in your life. Self-doubt is something we feel constantly as moms.Continue reading

Find Your Self-Love With These 5 Easy Steps

Why do so many women let go of self-love once they become mothers? Is it because they give 100% of themselves to their families? Is it because they feel guilty for even thinking about themselves?

How can we live a stress-free positive life if we do not practice self-love?

Self-love tips for moms who need to learn to love themselves again. #selflove

What is self-love?

Continue reading

30 Affirmations To Live A Happy And Positive Life.

Affirmations

Affirmations are the easiest and most successful way to stay on your positive living journey.

If you remember from the latest posts I strongly believe in what you send out to the universe you will receive back. For example, if you are constantly negative and mean then the universe will send back negativity. It will be a never-ending cycle that you can’t escape until you change your way of thinking.Continue reading

How To Deal With The Negative People In Your Life

Positive Living

2018 has been about positive living and self-care.

To be honest, positive living feels amazing! The problem is everywhere you turn in life there is someone negative person in your life ruining your positive journey.

The negative people in your life are the ones who are constantly gossiping, pessimistic and rude. They take your excitement and positivity and somehow quickly turn it into sadness.Continue reading

January 15, 2018

Tips For Moms To Live A Happy And Positive Life.

Are you ready to live a happy and positive life?

It’s only mid-January and it already seems hard to hold on to my New Year’s goals.

I have found myself struggling to hold on to my *Positive thoughts only* way of life. In the few days that I’ve slipped, I’ve noticed a HUGE change in myself.  For the negative.Continue reading

December 7, 2017

15 Cocktails And Christmas Movies That Will Make You Merry And Bright

15 Cocktails And Christmas Movies That Will Make You Merry And Bright

Christmas Christmas time is here time for joy and time for beer.

That’s right. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I love the atmosphere, the joy, the food and most importantly Christmas movies.

I FREAKING LOVE Christmas movies. We are talking a real obsession. Christmas movies are the perfect way to bring Holiday spirit into your house.Continue reading

10 Ultimate Gifts For The Super Mom In Your Life

10 Ultimate Gifts For The Mom In Your Life

Yay! Christmas is finally here!

Okay, not quite. It’s never to early to start shopping though. Shopping can seriously be one of the most stressful things about the Holidays. So it’s definitely a win to get your shopping done early.

As moms, we make lists. What to get the kids, husband, parents, grandparents, ect. Then someone asks you, “What do you want for Christmas?”Continue reading

October 20, 2017

How To Kick The Mom Funk

mom funk

Mom funk, it’s like being in a funk, except you are a mom.

So it’s worse.

Being a mom is the most amazing job in the world. Nothing compares to being a mother. Even though it is amazing it is also extremely hard.

A child constantly demands your attention 24 hours a day. You have to give all of yourself to another human. A tiny little human that you created. You love that little human more than life itself but sometimes motherhood is not all unicorns and rainbows.Continue reading

7 Items Every Hot Mess Mom Needs

Hot Mess Mom

What is a hot mess mom?

A hot mess mom is a mother who drinks enough coffee to give an elephant a stroke. She always has a box of wine ready to go when the kids fall asleep.

Hot mess moms embrace the messy bun and dry shampoo. She’s always running late so she probably didn’t shower this morning. Her clothes are probably covered in boogers and food. Who knows the last time she did laundry.Continue reading

7 (Not So) Spooky Halloween Books For Toddlers

7 not so spooky halloween books for toddlers

Halloween is upon on us once again! Is anyone else extremely excited? Costumes, pumpkins, decorations, you name it, I love it.

My toddler loves Halloween as much as I do. So what better to way to add more Halloween fun than with books?! I decided to put together a list of our favorite Halloween books (that you can easily order straight from this post!) Can you say, thank goodness for Amazon Prime?
7 not so spooky Halloween books for toddlers7 Not So Spooky Halloween Books For Toddlers

The books below are perfect for young ones who want to get into the Halloween spirit. Halloween can be a bit spooky for the little ones. So these are the perfect books to get your kids into the spirit without scaring them!
7 Not So Spooky Halloween Books For Toddlers
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7 (Not So) Spooky Halloween Books For Toddlers!

1.Room On The Broom

This one is our favorite! Not too spooky and perfect for toddlers to follow along! Bonus, there is a short film on Netflix to go along with the book!

2. Little Owl’s Night

Another favorite of ours! This one is not spooky at all and makes the perfect bedtime story!

3. Halloween ABC
ABC’s and Costumes. The perfect book for toddlers!

4. Little Blue Truck’s Halloween
If you love Little Blue Truck as much as we do, then you’ll love the Halloween version!

5. It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
A classic that Mom and Dad will love, too!

6. Ten Timid Ghosts
Learn to count from ten to one as each ghost flies away!

7. The Itsy Bitsy Pumpkin
A fun Halloween twist on “The Itsy Bitsy Spider!”

So there you have our 7 favorites (not so) spooky Halloween books for toddlers! What is your favorite Halloween book to read with your kiddos? Tell me in the comments!

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7 not so spooky Hallowen books for toddlers.

 

What’s Your Mom Style?

What's Your Mom Style

The Products In This Post Were Given To Me For Free. Regardless All Views Are My Own.

How I Found My Mom Style

I never thought I would get to this point in my life. The point where I NEVER wear jeans. Before kids I told myself that I would still get dressed every day. I wouldn’t wear yoga pants all of the time. Can we all just take a minute to laugh about that? My mom style was yoga pants. Is that a real style? I have no clue.Continue reading

Pros and Cons Of Extended Breastfeeding

Extended Breastfeeding

To Wean Or Not To Wean That Is The Question

It’s very hard to grasp that my breastfeeding journey is coming to an end, forever. My daughter is turning one in two weeks and we do not plan to have any more kids. My goal was to breastfeed each of our children exclusively until they are one. I have done that. Now the question comes, am I up for extended breastfeeding or not?Continue reading

How To Cope When You Have Sick Kids

How To Cope When You Have sick kids

It’s inevitable. It is a part of life. At one time or another, you will have sick kids. You will have sick kids and it will be miserable. For them AND for you.
How to cope when you have sick kids

Sick Kids are nothing like the commercials you see. Cute little baby not feeling well, snuggling with mommy, smiling, as she wipes that cute little red nose. NO. Have you ever tried to wipe a babies nose? There is nothing cute about it. Let’s start with the fact that there will be absolutely no smiling on the kids part. It will be bloody murder screaming as if you are trying to steal their soul through that boogery little nose.Continue reading

Ten Must Have Items For Breastfeeding Moms

Breastfeeding Moms

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I’m going to Breastfeed, Now What?

The internet is filled with endless amounts of information. But, how do you know what is real? I am here to help you. From my years of experience and expertise of having a little one attached to my boob, I am going to share with you must have items for nursing moms.Continue reading

Why We Should Stop Entertaining Our Children

Why We Should Stop Entertaining Our Children

I recently surveyed a bunch of moms and started addressing the issues that they told me they were having. Last week we addressed social media and motherhood.

This week we are going to address one, that actually really resonates with me. Someone mentioned,

“how do I entertain my children when I am exhausted but don’t want them watching TV all day.”

Continue reading

How Social Media Has Made Motherhood Unrealistic

SOCIAL MEDIA

I recently reached out to a ton of moms on Social Media and asked them a few questions. I wanted to know what they were struggling with. To my surprise, I got overwhelming results. So many moms answered and give me honest heartfelt answers. The biggest problem that seemed to be bothering so many moms was that they needed to know, it’s okay to lose their shit every once in a while. Also, that everyone does!Continue reading

A Letter To My Husband on Father’s Day

Father's Day

With Father’s Day upon us I would like to take a minute to say a little bit about my husband. The father of my children and the most important man in my life.

Dear Husband,

Thank you. I know I do not say this enough. You go to work every day and bust your butt so we can have an amazing life. Thank you for allowing me to be a stay at home mom with our children. Thank you for supporting me and helping me follow my dreams.Continue reading

Three Tips For A First Time Mom

First Time Mom

What Every Second Time Mom Wishes Every First Time Mom Knew.

If you are a mom, then you have been there. The dreaded “first time mom” that everyone jokes about. You are overprotective and over tired. You don’t want anyone to know that you are struggling. With that, you’d rather eat a dirty diaper than hear I told you so.Continue reading

The Loneliness Of Exclusive Breastfeeding: Plus Bonus Tips For Your Partner

Exclusive Breastfeeding; Tale Of The Lonely Mama. Plus bonus tips for your partner!

If you have read any of my previous posts then by now you know what to expect from me when it comes to breastfeeding. If you have never read any of my posts, first of all, why not?? Second, I will fill you in. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. Although I am a huge breastfeeding advocate I will never formula shame. So don’t bring any of that negativity over here y’all.Continue reading

Why Are Moms Always So Tired?

Why are moms always so tired

Being a mom comes with a guarantee that you will be tired for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Okay, I’m not sure about the rest of your life because my oldest child is two. I am convinced though, I may never sleep again.

My youngest is about seven months old now and finally sleeping through the night. She only woke up about three-four times last night for a boobie. Alright, so maybe she doesn’t sleep through the night. Why do I keep telling people that? She doesn’t wake up screaming anymore and doesn’t need to be rocked, bounced, swung, fed, changed, and the witness of an animal sacrifice just to fall back asleep. Thank God, we were running out of chickens.

So WHY am I still so tired? I mean my daughter usually wakes up between 5-6 am and my son usually wakes up between 6-7 am. With my daughter only waking up three-four times at night that should be plenty of rest, right?

Now that I think of it, I am getting plenty of rest. We start our bedtime routine at 7 pm usually. I don’t have super-mom powers, so sometimes it’s 8 pm..9 pm. Whatever, quit judging me. It doesn’t matter what time I start our bedtime routine because my son HATES SLEEP. If we happen to start our routine at seven and are in bed before eight, my son will usually fall asleep pretty quick. By pretty quick I mean around midnight.

Let’s recap. I’m getting plenty of sleep.

Falling asleep around midnight,  waking up three-four times with the baby throughout the night, then waking up between 5 and 6 am. Okay, I am seriously not seeing the problem. Even if I was not getting enough sleep at night it’s not like I do anything during the day except lay around. I’m a stay at home mom for goodness sake.

The only things I do all day with the kids is feed, bathe, dress, play with, teach, read to, care for, and change their diapers. Then I only do a few things around the house, such as cook, clean, laundry, dishes, vacuum, and sweep. None of these few things I do all day are tiring. I should have plenty of energy to accomplish those things I might do that day.
Since we are lazy moms, why not do all of our shopping online?
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I absolutely can not wrap my mind around why I am so tired! Maybe I am oversleeping. Maybe I have too much time to myself. I can usually go pee by myself once a day and get a shower every three days. That has to be the problem. I am relaxing too much. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, right? I’m pretty sure I just hit you with some physics.

I guess I will never know why I am so damn tired. It’s okay though, that is why God invented coffee. That is why God invented Starbucks. God invented coffee for moms. For lazy moms who oversleep and do nothing, like me!

Are you a tired mom? Are you like me and have absolutely no idea why you are so tired? Tell me in the comments!

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Why are Moms always so tired?

Top Five Reasons I Hate Going To Kids’ Birthday Parties

Do you know what I seriously hate doing? Going to kids’ birthday parties.

Okay, before you call me an evil witch just hear me out.

I am going to give you my top five reasons why I hate going to kids’ birthday parties. By the end of this you will completely agree with me. If not then I bet you can at least agree with one or two of them!

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  1. Screaming Kids – A bunch of little kids who just run around screaming for no apparent reason. If you didn’t load up on Tylenol or Xanax, this is probably going to make your brain explode. You will just stand there watching the other parents, praying that they will tell their children that there is no need to scream like they are being murdered.
  2. Crying Kids – SO MANY DAMN CRYING KIDS. It never fails, someone always falls down, or gets their feelings hurt, or is just a flat out brat. You hope to God it’s not your kid. Again, unless you loaded up on Xanax, the constant sound of whining kids is going to drive you insane.
  3. Small Talk – If you are like me then you know what I’m talking about. I HATE small talk. Seriously, I hate talking to people I don’t know. Unfortunately, I consider myself somewhat of an introvert and very socially awkward. I don’t want to talk to you, and let’s be real, you probably don’t want to talk to me either. I know we are just being polite but I would rather shove a pencil through my ear then make small talk with a stranger.
  4. Gossip – Yes, this gets looped in with small talk. For shit’s sake we are 30 somethings at a child’s birthday party.  Do we have to gossip?  I seriously do not care that you heard from your mom’s, aunt’s, dog’s cousin George that Debbie is cheating on Steve. Let me repeat that, I DO NOT CARE. I know some people live for gossip, and they just can’t help but tell a stranger a juicy secret. That person is just not me.
  5. Feeling of inadequacy – Don’t get me wrong, Pinterest perfect parties are adorable, and kudos to the mama who put it all together. I just am over the idea of a “perfect birthday party.” Like really, Debbie? Did you have to hand out party favors that include gourmet chocolate and i pods? At my kid’s birthday parties I just assumed the fact that I gave them cake was good enough? Now I feel like everyone is judging me because I didn’t plan super cool games or take a second mortgage out on our house just to throw a birthday party.

I may sound like a bit of an ass, but oh well. I mean, I DO take my kids to these birthday parties! Even if it hurts my soul I still do it! Usually I don’t let the other parents know how bothered I am by being there, hopefully they just think I am a super awesome normal mom!

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a terrible parent for feeling this way? Don’t answer that.

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Why Moms Should Never Go To Their Happy Place

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I have come to realize that I go to my happy place far too often. My Happy Place isn’t exactly a ‘happy’ place. It is more of a quiet place where I go in my mind. It is where I tune out all noise around me. I usually go here when my children are being crazy, I just tune them out, and go to my dark, quiet, serene, happy place.

The problem with tuning my children out to go to my happy place, is just that. I tune my children out. When is that ever a good idea? I know this makes me sound like a bad mom, but if you have two children and you’ve never gone to your happy place, well, then you are a damn liar.
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I have been so tired lately, and really behind on all of my work. Obviously, that means my two year old needs to act like he does crack and be as crazy as he possibly can. He usually just runs around yelling the same thing over and over. This is the perfect time for me to tune out and think about what I need to catch up on. I can see him and make sure he’s safe, I just can’t hear him.

Tonight, my six month old baby was sitting on my lap, while my son sat in front of her playing with her. Perfect time to tune out. I blocked out the kids since they were just fine, entertaining each other. After a few minutes, I tune back in when I notice that my son keeps sticking his finger in the baby’s mouth. I hear him say “just eat it baby sister” several times.

In a panic I shove my finger in her mouth swabbing for anything he might have put in there. I don’t feel anything so I keep asking my son, “WHAT DID YOU PUT IN HER MOUTH??” He just looks at me and whispers several times. After about five minutes of me interrogating him and swabbing the baby’s mouth, he finally says, It was a booger

Why would you put a booger in your baby sister’s mouth??

He had no answer, he knew he was in deep shit. I finally remove my finger from my poor daughters mouth, and I see it. A big juicy disgusting booger right inside her lip. What is it with my son and putting boogers where they don’t belong? I had to explain to him that we never, ever, ever put anything in the baby’s mouth, and explain that she could choke and it’s not funny.

Next, I tried to talk to him about where he puts his boogers. I explained to him that his sister’s mouth is the worst possible spot he could ever put his booger. While explaining this to him I tried so hard to keep a straight face. I had to turn my head a few times so he couldn’t see me laughing. This is one of those situations where it’s not funny but it is funny. Yes, I know great parenting moment #135 from me.

The fact that my son feels the need to feed his sister his juicy boogers definitely shows me that I tune out way too much. Maybe he was just trying to be a good big brother? Maybe he knew that she was hungry and that boogers are full of protein? He was probably just trying to be helpful. I bet that’s it.

What is the most disgusting thing your child has ever done? I want to hear your horror stories!

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How To Make The Perfect Easter Basket

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I keep seeing all of these posts about making the perfect Easter Basket for your child. What in the hell is a perfect Easter basket? Have I been doing this wrong the last couple of years? Is my son going to grow up hating me because he found out I, er the Easter bunny, didn’t make him the perfect basket?

I won’t lie, I’ve looked on Pinterest before for some ‘non candy Easter basket’ ideas. I really don’t like to load my children up on sweets. Don’t get me wrong I’ll let them have some, but basically I just get the candy for me. It’s the same for every holiday, I get my son the good chocolates, then let him have one and hide the rest for me. It’s a mom win, trust me.

After seeing all of these perfect Easter basket posts, I decided I needed to help all of the other Easter bunny Mamas out there. The perfect Easter basket, is whatever you want it to freaking be! If you want tons of candy, bubbles, and toys, heck ya! If you buy organic snacks with educational only books, sweet! There is no damn perfect Easter basket. There is no perfect mom so quit trying!

I say there is no perfect mom, but I think I come pretty damn close. Since I am so close to perfect I figured I would share what I normally put in my children’s Easter baskets.

For my son, who is two years old, I would put:

Bubbles- lots of freaking bubbles. They entertain him for hours and they are cheap.

Candy- A few pieces of any candy that looks delicious to me. I shove them in a plastic egg then Bam!

A book- Usually something Easter, spring, or Christian related, because, you know, why not?

Stuffed Animal- For the last two years my son has received some sort of stuffed animal, he seriously loves them. So a cheap ass duck is just perfect.

Play-Doh- He loves Play-Doh and you know, I’m a cool mom.

BAM! That’s one cool Easter basket! I usually find a few odds and ends that I shove in there, snacks, small toys, paints.

For my daughter, who is six months old:

Cute ass headbands and spring outfit- because I can. (Here is a discount code so you can order something super cute for cheap!)
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Teethers: Lots of damn teethers. I’ll get spring looking ones.

A Book: again, something Easter, spring, or Christian related. I want both kids to be smart, not just one.

Candy- Chocolates and candy that are for mommy only. It just makes me feel better that I didn’t buy it all for myself.

A stuffed Animal- because, duh.

She is a little harder because she is so young, if her basket seems too empty to me maybe I’ll throw in a rattle or a cute pair of shoes she’ll never wear. Maybe even a cute floppy hat.

Again, BAM! Two perfect Easter baskets! Super cheap and super amazing. There is no wrong way to make a damn basket, so don’t stress out thinking you are not doing enough, or that you will be shamed by all of the other mommies. You will do just perfect!

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What NOT To Do When You Are Pregnant

Pregnant

The Day I Shat Myself While Pregnant

I was about 25 weeks pregnant when one of the most embarrassing things EVER happened to me.  I was on a road trip with my mom and my son who was one at the time. We were out of town to soak up some sun and visit family. After a few days, we finally decided to head back home. We stuck with tradition and ate at our favorite restaurant. My mom and I consider ourselves to be chicken wing connoisseurs. The spicier the wing, the better.  If it doesn’t make your throat bleed then we are not interested.Continue reading

Yes, I Hear You!

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My two year old son has this constant need for everyone to acknowledge everything he says. I’m mean every single thing. He even needs me to acknowledge him when he’s talking in his sleep!

The problem is, I am very good at tuning out all unnecessary noise. So if I do not respond to him right away he repeats himself over and over again. I’m serious, for example:

Mom, Bot has a forehead.

Mamma, Bot has a forehead.

MOM BOT HAS A FOREHEAD!

Mommy bot has a forehead!!!!!!!!!

MOMMY!!

BOT HAS A FOREHEAD!

YES, SON! For the love of God, yes, Bot has a freaking forehead!

Might I add, this conversation was at 11pm and why I needed to know that Bot from Team Umizoomi has a forehead, I’ll never know.

He will repeat himself 100 times if he has too. I’ve done a few experiments where I purposely don’t answer him, just to see how many times he will repeat himself. He doesn’t give up. He keeps going until I acknowledge him. I’m convinced he’d say the same thing for an hour straight. Or possibly until my eyes bulge out of my head and scare the crap out of him.

I’m pretty sure this phase is going to make my brain explode. I just don’t feel the need to constantly reply to every single thing he says. I mean he’s two years old, and he NEVER stops talking. It’s like that scene from the show family guy.

Stewie:  “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mama, Mom, MOM, MOMMY.”

Lois:  “WHAT!?!”

That is my life, 24 hours a day. Even my husband mentioned, you should write about him constantly needed to be answered. As I’m writing this he is saying, “Mommy, this is Batman? It’s Batman. Mommy, it’s batman. Mommy, Batman. Batman. Mommy, it’s Batman.”

YES, IT’S BATMAN! Now I want to grab Batman and rip his head off and stick his body in the oven and torture him so I never have to see him again! Holy hell, YES I HEAR YOU!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love having conversations with my son. He really is intelligent and hilarious.  When he is saying something meaningful, I always reply and if he needs help, I reply. But if I happen to be on the phone and he wants to tell me that his water is so yummy, do I really need to reply? If you ask him the answer is yes.

Does your child do something similar? As a result does it make your eyes pop out of your head too?

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Motherhood is Messy

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Being a mother is the greatest job in the world. It is also one of the messiest. It starts from the moment that tiny, little baby is pulled from your body. The doctor holds the baby up for you to see. You are overwhelmed with a sense of love and all of the sudden there is pee squirting you in the face.

There is a joke in my family that the first time your baby pees on you it means that you are being initiated into parenthood. Little do you know that getting peed on once will turn into getting peed on at least once a day for the next 18 years. (I’m assuming- because my son is two and potty trained and he still somehow manages to get pee on me.) It’s not only pee, babies poop A LOT. Not cute, little poops that you imagine would come from a tiny, little angel. They are mustard yellow poops that spray out like a machine gun and stain your walls.

Besides being covered in poop, pee, and boogers, you will probably be covered in some of your child’s food. Whether it be breast milk from your leaking tatas or disgusting diarrhea green, pureed peas, it will somehow end up on your shirt, in your hair, in your shoes, or up your nose. Therefor, you will constantly be walking around smelling like some sort of old food.

Now aside from things that your child can cover you in, let’s talk about how messy your child can make your house. I mean holy hell, have you seen a toddler’s bedroom? Toys cover the ground forming a giant stuffed animal mountain that could probably protect you from a nuclear blast. Spilled bags of cheerios are covering the floor just inviting the mice to come have a sleep over, and there is a boobie trap of Legos blocking you from entering the stuffed animal bunker.

 

Somehow you have to do eight loads of laundry a day, just to be able to cross your living room. Doing the dishes twice a day is nowhere near enough. So they cover the counters, the tables, the floors, for some god-forsaken reason there are bowls behind the couch. Seriously though, why?

At the end of the day, you finally have the choice to go to sleep or wash that disgusting baby food off yourself and clean up the house. Naturally you choose sleep. Who cares if it’s a dirty house? Who cares if you smell like you were rolling in garbage? I don’t care. I won’t judge you.

In conclusion, yes, Motherhood is messy, but it’s worth it.

Is your house a mess? Or are you a magical creature who can constantly keep her home clean? Tell me in the comments!

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Yep, I Just Peed

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After birthing to two massive children, I don’t exactly have the best bladder control. My first child was over nine pounds and my second was right at nine pounds. They scarred me for life. You don’t recover from something like that. (Although I hear there are a few surgical options out there but that’s a discussion for another day.)

I have recently come down with the nasty cold that is going around. Now on top of the runny nose, sneezing, cough, sore throat, swollen eyes, and headaches this miserable cold has brought me, I have to remember to cross my legs constantly. Not cross my legs in a funny way like “you better cross those legs before you get pregnant again.”  But, cross my legs as in, I’m about to sneeze and if I don’t cross my legs the floodgates will open and soak this couch I’m sitting on.

I have a hard enough time holding in my pee when I’m not sick. I mean, I go for a walk and 10 minutes in I realize I have to pee and the rest of the way home I’m waddling like a duck on crack because my pants are soaked. It’s a problem I just can’t hold it like I used to before babies.

The hardest part is standing up and having to sneeze or cough. How do I casually cross my legs and try to hold my pee in without anyone noticing? I guess I’d rather them notice me crossing my legs than me soaking my pants. Maybe I should invest in some sort of adult diapers? I’m not even 30 years old yet and I need to worry about peeing my pants. I need to think about wearing an ultra thick extra long maxi pad when I’m not even on my period. What the hell is this!?

Here is my advice, ladies. Just kidding I have none. I don’t know what to do. I just know it’s a problem and it sucks. Every time I sneeze I pee a little. Sometimes I pee a lot. That is just the way it is, I guess. Yet another glorious part of being woman!

Is this a problem for all of you mama’s out there? Or am I a weirdo that should go to the doctor because I have a problem?? Let me know in the comments!

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Chores, How young is too young?

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I am CONSTANTLY fighting with my two year old about cleaning his room. This is the one chore he will fight me to the death on. He ALWAYS wins. Why? Because he’s a little shit, and I am weak. His favorite game is to pull out every toy and book he can find and then throw them on the floor or in the crib. When I ask him to put the books away, he usually responds with, “No, how ‘bout you do it, Mommy.”

WTF? How am I taking orders from a two year old?? I always give in because I’m tired of walking into his room, stepping on a Lego and falling face first into a bowl of two day old cereal. Every now and then, he obliges and will half-ass clean up. (I can’t really blame him on that part, I half-ass clean everything.) It makes me so proud and so happy and I really try to show him that. I just wish it would happen more often.

He LOVES to help me with laundry. He likes to take the clothes out of the washer and put them into the dryer and then take them out of the dryer and into the basket. It makes the process about 100 times longer, but what the heck, he wants to help so I let him! He also likes to help unload the dishwasher. This one is a little trickier because I have to get anything sharp and breakable away from him as soon as possible. He will pick up anything he can reach and hand it to me to put away. Again, it makes doing the dishes about 100 times longer, but it’s worth it.

Did I mention that my son is a technological genius? He can pick up any phone/tablet and navigate to YouTube and watch his “Daddy Finger” videos. He can also get to any game and figure out how to play it within minutes. If my son can pick up an electronic that I’ve had for years, (and haven’t figured out how to use) and learn to use it in 5 minutes or less, he can clean his damn room. A few months after turning two, my sweet little boy turned into a bossy terrible two year old. I think I let him get away with too much. No more, it stops here.

When he wakes up from his nap, he is marching straight into his room and picking up all of his toys. Then he will grab a mop and get to work in the kitchen. No more free rides around here. He is two years old. He needs to learn that life is hard. It’s time learn that there are no freebies in life. You want that PAW Patrol yogurt for a snack, get to cleanin’ son. I’m not entirely sure what other cleaning I can have him do. But this has to teach him some responsibility right?

What types of chores do your children do and at what ages did they start? Is two too young? Am I going to be turned in for being a child slave laborer?

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You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup

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Have you ever heard the saying, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup?’ I’m here to tell you that I think that is BS. If you are a mother, you can pour from an empty cup. You HAVE to pour from an empty cup because sometimes you ARE an empty cup!

I’ve recently put this to the test. My five month old daughter was hospitalized for RSV. It was the most stressful week of my life. I got a total of 5 hours of sleep in 3 days. (Not an exaggeration.) I hardly ate or drank anything the entire time we were in the hospital because I was there by myself most of the time. I handled almost everything alone. My cup was empty, I was empty. But somehow, I kept pouring. Every little thing my daughter needed I was there. I was alert. Delirious, but alert. I never let her see how tired and beat down I was.

As I sat there in the hospital bed with my baby girl, covered in her vomit and mucus, all I could think was how I would do anything in the world to keep her safe. How even though, I feel I have nothing to give, I would still give everything I could to her. My body was so tired from no sleep, and sharing a hospital bed with my baby, but if she wanted to be held, I held her. If she wanted to nurse, I nursed her. If she wanted to play, I played with her. I have no idea how I was able to do this. No idea how I didn’t just pass out on the floor and die. I really thought I was going too.

This is why moms are superheroes. We defy the odds. We go against the laws of nature. If it comes down to it, we don’t need sleep. Moms don’t need to eat. We don’t need to shower. A mother will do WHATEVER it takes to keep our little ones safe. Even if that means giving more than we have to give.

I know, I know, when given the opportunity we need to take care of ourselves. But in a situation like this, there was no taking care of myself, and somehow I still was able to give. I hit rock bottom, then kept digging. Because I am a mom. I’ll never stop. I’ll never quit. I will drink a cup of nasty hospital coffee and force myself to squeeze a drop of something into my “cup”.

When God created women he put something in our hearts that activates when we become a mother. Something that kicks in when our children need us. He created us to be able to give when we have nothing. I can’t tell you how it works. I can’t give you advice on how to keep on giving. It’s just something inside of us that happens. Most of all it happens when you love someone more than you love yourself.

This is why I believe you CAN pour from an empty cup.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? Have you ever felt like an empty cup? Let me know in the comments!

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What The F!

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In my house, I like to think that we really try to not curse around our children. We fail epically but at least we “try” right?

My two year old son is like a mocking bird. He acts like he’s not listening but he is. You will say something, and then a few hours later he is repeating exactly what you said. Maybe this is a trait that will help him later in life, who knows. For now, it’s bad because every time you slip he is listening, just waiting for his opportunity to make you feel like a bad parent.

One day, my sister-in-law and I were sitting in the living room while my son was playing on my phone. ( I know, another great parenting moment.)  We were in the middle of a very serious conversation, I’m sure, when my dog decides she needs to go outside. My sister-in-law hops up and opens the door, my pain in the butt dog runs outside then runs right back inside. She really is obnoxious, I mean it takes a lot of energy to stand up and let a dog outside right?

We continue our conversation and about two minutes later my dog is at the door barking again, wanting to go outside. My SIL jumps up and yells, “Rugar, what the F!” She really did just say F.

Then my son, who hasn’t said a word in half an hour, even when we were talking to him looks up and yells, “Rugar, What the F*&@!!”  He DID NOT just say F!

I turned away from my son laughing so hard that I almost peed my pants. (yes, another great parenting moment.) We really did try to hide our laughter, but I just couldn’t. After several minutes, I was able to compose myself and explain to him that the F word is a bad word.

It’s then when you really feel like a great mom. Where did he hear that? Do I really say that word around him often? I really try not too! He probably heard it from someone else. I’ll go with that because It makes me feel better about myself. Also, it’s extremely embarrassing. What if we were at church? What if we were at play group? What would other moms think of me?! Thankfully it was my sister in law who was there, who wasn’t judging me…out loud anyway.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever slipped and your child repeated it at the worst time? Tell me in the comments!

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Valentine’s Day After Having Kids









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Valentine’s Day with my husband used to be fun. We used to live in the big city, and we would always go to our favorite seafood restaurant.  (We were never overly romantic, getting messy with crab legs was romantic enough for us.) We would fill our bellies with delicious crab legs and giant mixed drinks that make it hard to walk once you’ve finished. Afterwards, my husband would usually surprise me with a new piece of jewelry, and we would go wherever the night took us.

Now we live in a tiny town where no one offers decent crab legs. We also have two children. For some reason now we act about 15 years older than we really are. I’m not kidding. We watch Family Feud every night. My husband and I go on a date maybe once every two or three months. Yes, I know, wife of the year award should go to me. It’s so hard to find the time or energy to go anywhere together.

Needless to say, the last several Valentine’s days have been uneventful. We made our own tradition of having crab legs at home. (My husband is an amazing seafood cook, thank the good Lord.) I haven’t been able to have a drink with liquor in it in over three years, and if I had one now I’d probably just end up pregnant again. So I usually get a nice water bottle, or if I’m feeling crazy a cup of lemonade. We top the night off with watching cartoons in bed, me sneaking chocolate, and wondering where my newest diamond is? Just kidding, sort of.

Although, I may long for the days of sipping ice-cold blended alcohol while taking pictures to show off my newest diamond earrings, having Valentine’s dinner at home with my kids is kind of fun. It’s our new tradition. It may not be romantic at all.  We may not get any alone time,  but it’s fun. It’s ours.

Let’s be real, as long as my husband brings me chocolate I don’t really care what we do for Valentine’s day. I am a chocoholic and I could sit on the sofa shoving my face full of delicious boxed chocolates watching Family Feud all night. You know what, that is exactly what I want to do after our “romantic” Valentine’s dinner. Just leave me alone with chocolate and Steve Harvey and I’ll be the happiest woman in the world.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

What do you do for Valentine’s day? Go on a romantic date? Involve your kids? Let me know in the comments!

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