The Day I She-Hulked

I used to take my son to a playgroup for children three and under. I was trying to do my duty of being a good mom by not turning my son into a complete recluse(like his mother). It appeared to be working as E was very social at that time. One special day, a couple of kids showed up. E was by far the youngest, only being one.

There was a mom who brought her mother and a friend along. They sat in the corner talking; ignoring the kids the entire time. They were constantly swearing and kept going outside to smoke. I was irritated, but I thought maybe they were having a bad day. I just kept engaging with the children.

Finally, it was time to go outside. E grabbed a ball and was playing by himself. I stood back a little bit to give him free range. Then the little girl of the swearing mom came up to him. Let’s call her Rosie(she reminded me of a mini version of Rosie O’Donnell).

Rosie, who was about 3 but looked about 5, approached E and grabbed the ball from him. She took off with it, and E just stood there unsure of how to react. I gave him a second to see how he would handle the situation. I look over at Rosie’s mom, Ms. McSmokeface, who hadn’t even looked up to notice that her daughter just stole a toy from a little boy.

I decided to approach Rosie.

“Rosie, that wasn’t very nice, if you want to play with the ball you need to ask E if you can play with it. Please give it back to E.” I don’t know what the rules are on approaching other people’s children, but since her mother did nothing, and my son was so much younger I decided to say something. Not like Ms. McSmokeface even noticed.

Rosie gave the ball to E and stood by him as if she were going to play with him. I gave them some space again. I was thinking everything was fixed, and they would play together! Wrong. Little Rosie walked up to E, took the ball from him, and shoved him down!

I instantly “she-hulked” My eyes turned a dark shade of green. My muscles grew so big that my shirt was ripping, and veins were popping out everywhere. I was PISSED. I turn to look at Rosie’s mom while growling and foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. She saw the entire thing and what did she do? She turned back to her friend and continued to talk. Something snapped inside of me, and I turned into the Mom-ster that no one should ever have to see.

I started walking towards Rosie, banging my fists against my chest like a wild ape. Helicopters swarmed the skies with snipers ready to shoot. The National Guard rolled in driving huge tanks, ready to put the beast down.

The friend of Ms. McSmokeface knew it was about to go down. She grabbed Rosie’s mom by the arm and made her walk over to Rosie. They must have seen the look in my eye, and started to run to Rosie.

Ms. McSmokeface’s friend, told Rosie, “That wasn’t nice, you need to say sorry,” and that was the end of it.

Rosie didn’t say sorry.

McSmokeface didn’t apologize.

I believe steam was coming out of my ears, and I could feel words coming to my mouth that should never be spoken in front of children. I picked up my son, who was staring at me wondering why I had turned into the incredible hulk, and we left.

I’m not the perfect mom, some situations I just can’t handle with grace and class. My way of handling this situation was turning into a wild animal, running circles around the kids all while foaming at the mouth.

Some of this post is contradictory to my post “Stop the Hate.” The name calling that appears in this post are for humor purposes only, to explain how I felt during this situation.

Have you ever been in a situation where your mama bear instinct kicked in? Have you ever “she-hulked?” Let me know below! I won’t judge you!

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Photo credit: Gwendal_ via Visualhunt / CC BY-NC-SA