12 Hilarious Father’s Day Gifts

Father’s Day is just around the corner.

Are you ready? Want to get Dad something for Father’s Day that will have him laughing so hard that HE pees his pants? Look no further I’ve got you covered.

To make life easy I have found 12 of the most hilarious gifts for dad. Wait, there’s more. Every item on this list is on Amazon Prime. That’s right, you don’t even have to leave your house and with prime it’ll be here before Father’s Day! So pour a glass of wine and do some online shopping.

Without further ado I give you

12 Hilarious Father’s Day Gifts (That Dad Will Actually Love)

1. Best Effin Dad Mug.
Because, he is, isn’t he?
2. World’s greatest farter t-shirt.
Let’s be real, he really is.

3. I love you hand stamped lure
And Dad REALLY loves fishing.

4. Cards Against Humanity
This game and a 12 pack of beer will guarantee Dad has the best night ever.

5. The squatty potty 🙂
Does Dad poop? Yes, the answer is yes. he’s going to need one of these.

6. V.I.POO
Dad, your shit stinks. Hint-hint. The rest of us will thank you.

7. Poo-Pourri Master Crapsman Gift Set
Really, Dad. You spend most of your time in the bathroom, this benefits you too.

8. HANGRY KIT
Dad, you get a little angry when you are hungry. Have a snack. *I promise not to steal anything.*
9. Accoutrements Emergency Underpants
Everyone has accidents, Dad. It’s okay.

10. Star Wars Stormtrooper Waffle Maker
This will be the best Father’s Day breakfast of all time.
11. I like my coffee on the dark side mug
Obviously, Dad is going to need a badass cup to go with his badass waffle.

12. The Farting Animals Coloring Book
This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. What Dad doesn’t like a good fart joke?

These are hilarious, am I right?

Don’t leave Dad hanging with a boring neck tie. Show him you really love him by making him smile.

Thank you for reading! Which one of these hilarious gifts are your favorite? Follow me on Facebook to see which one is mine!

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Guest Post Featuring: Coffee With A Side Of

Guest Post Featuring

Coffee With A Side Of

Are you ready for something awesome?  Y’all know I love sharing the love so let’s check out Addison with Coffee With A Side Of who will be guest posting on supersirriousmom.com!

You know that I wouldn’t make you read something that will put you to sleep. To guest post on my blog you must be a top-notch bad-ass blogging mama. Addison is just that!

Not only does she blog, but she vlogs. Head here to check out my favorite youtube video of hers! Yes, she is just that bad-ass.

Sign up here to take her quiz What’s Yo’ Mama Personality!

10 Reasons Why I Won’t Be Bringing a Gift to Your Child’s Birthday

So, maybe this was an accident at first. I forgot to bring the gift that I had purchased for a friend’s party. Then I had someone suggest can foods to donate in leu of gifts. I can do that! Then my son’s birthday further cemented my opinion on the matter. He did not need more things. Truly. Our house is basically become a maze of kid s$!4. I mean, it is a problem. I am not saying that I won’t still give gifts at times, but just not to every child’s party. These are the reasons I am skipping the gift and coming anyway.

1. Kids already have too much.

Circumnavigating toddler obstacles disguised as toys might as well involve a compass, a map and a boatload of grit and determination. Toes have been stubbed along the way. I do not want to further inundate other’ homes with clutter and the dollar store gift that I can afford.

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2.I can’t afford anything your child really wants.

Do you really want another toy truck? I can see 10 from my peripheral, and that’s just in the dining room. How about another doll? They are already starting to creep you out. Really, why do they stare like that?

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3.There are too many parties. 

How many birthday parties can someone be invited to in one season. We have managed 8 for April and May. I am pretty sure we are going in some birthday party hall-of-hell, I mean fame, somewhere. I like you and your kid and the other 30 parents and children from our mom’s group. I am so blessed to have community, but my wallet does not somehow magically grow every time I receive a birthday invitation.

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4.I am so busy. 

I am not trying to be selfish here, but it is the weekend. Finally, I have an extra set of hands (the husband) and I need to finally try to tackle the mess that some call a house. I am losing my sanity just trying to keep up and one more thing to my list might turn me into a raving lunatic. Face it, I might not even need one more thing at this point.

 

 

 

 

5.Shopping is not my jam.

I know some woman thrive from perusing merchandise with the hopes to one day buy some. Or, the may even be wild and crazy, purchase-on-the-spot people. I am none of these. I am a please gauge my eyes out if it means I don’t have to go to the store.

 

 

 

6.I forgot to Amazon Prime it. 

Even one day shipping does not excuse the last-minute nature of my gift-giving. 30 minutes before it is time to leave is not a great time to lose my ever-loving mind because I forgot that detail. My family staying together is largely dependent on me holding it together. When I unravel, it affects much more than anticipated. Another reason to skip that gift.

 

7.The wrapping and card cost more than the gift. 

I am not even trying to win some wrapping contest or show off how great a friend I am. I truly couldn’t find a bag, paper and a card for under $15. At this point, the only thing left for the gift is air and that may be a disappointing unwrapping experience.

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8.Starving children in Africa and such. 

Okay, maybe this is added for dramatic effect, but I really think donating toys is a better use of our time. I try to hoard up unwrapped toys to give for Christmas. Oh yeah, if you give my son a toy, that is where it going. Our mounds filleth over. I strongly believe that giving back to those in need is one of our callings as Christians. I know your toddlermight need the new Elmo and your teen needs that new X Box, but they aren’t exactly slumming it in the backseat of your brand new BMW. *insert jealous side-eye*

Donate toys here!

 

9.I don’t want to.

Yeah. It’s true. I don’t really want to. I mean, my intentions were noble to begin with, but then I found out it is easier this way. I mean, why would I revert to my old ways after all this gloriousness.

 

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10. I want to go.

I used to find excuses not to go to parties because I felt so guilty about not having a gift. I used to worry, what would others think. Then I stopped. I asked for no gifts at my son’s birthday because that wasn’t what it was about. It was about friends. My son loves these parties and I do too. I love talking to my mom friends and creating memories.

I feel no guilt (well, almost none) for skipping your child’s extra gift on the pile that is cascading over. And I hope that you can overlook the lack of tradition and invite us anyway because we would love to be a part of your kid’s special day.

Thanks for the invite!

Author Bio

My name is Addison and I am an ADD, ENFP, SAHM (insert numerous acronyms here) Mama. I am trying to figure out this parenting thing while simultaneously trying to manage family, friends, and the general randomness of life. I am the author of www.coffeewithasideof.com and I write 90% of my posts from under the arms of a toddler that is basically attached. Check out my free What’s Yo Mama Personality Quiz Here!

A Letter To My Husband on Father’s Day

With Father’s Day upon us I would like to take a minute to say a little bit about my husband. The father of my children and the most important man in my life.

Dear Husband,

Thank you. I know I do not say this enough. You go to work every day and bust your butt so we can have an amazing life. Thank you for allowing me to be a stay at home mom with our children. Thank you for supporting me and helping me follow my dreams.
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You do so much more than work though. You do all of the hard things that I won’t. Like, clean up vomit. Not only the kids and the dogs but mine too. I don’t even have to ask and for this, I thank you. Thank you for doing all of the gross work.

 
You don’t know how much I appreciate every single back rub. (Yes, I know I ask every single night.) You only give me a few groans but you still do it. After dealing with the kids all day it’s so nice to be spoiled by you. I know you deserve a back rub too, I swear someday I’ll get to it.

Thank you for loving me even though I am not the same woman you met ten years ago. I can no longer fit into those little outfits I used to wear. I have stretch marks that look like a map of the United States. You still love me, you still make me feel beautiful, and you don’t comment when I haven’t shaved my legs in a month. I appreciate that.

 
Thank you for always having my back. When it comes to my parenting methods, my family, your family, or just in general, you always support me. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with and you only sometimes make fun of my awkwardness. For that, I love you even more.

 

I am so in love with how much you love our children. You are the best father in the world and they adore you. (M always pulling your beard and ripping your glasses off is her way of saying, I love you, Daddy.) The kids are crazy all of the time. Where was I going with that? Oh, they are crazy but they love you. Even if you think they don’t show it.

 
Thank you for being patient with me. In all aspects of our marriage. I know you don’t get much you time. Just know that I notice. I don’t give you as much attention and I did before our kids, okay you hardly get any at all. I swear someday I will figure it out.

 
There is so much more I could say but our kids are waking up and ain’t nobody got time for that.
I love you, babycakes!
Do you have an amazing man in your life?? Tell me about him!

Father's Day

 

Three Tips For A First Time Mom

What Every Second Time Mom Wishes Every First Time Mom Knew.

If you are a mom, then you have been there. The dreaded “first time mom” that everyone jokes about. You are overprotective and over tired. You don’t want anyone to know that you are struggling. With that, you’d rather eat a dirty diaper than hear I told you so.

I was this mom. I didn’t want anyone to think that I couldn’t do this. For some reason I wanted everyone to look at me and think damn, she really has it together. It wasn’t until I gave birth to my second child that I realized I was an idiot.

Now, I know that we all need to make our mistakes as a first time mom. We have to suffer from first time mom syndrome, as I like to call it. Looking back, there are a few things I wish I would have done differently. Not huge regrets, but simple things that could have made me a better mom at times.

Accept Help

Alright, listen here mama. You either just pushed a gigantic baby out of your magical fun box or your stomach was completely sliced through and a baby was pulled out of your body. Yes, you are going to need a bit of help.

I was so neurotic that I wouldn’t let my mom take my son out of the room when it was time for me to get some sleep. I rarely accepted the opportunity to shower. If people offered to come over and help I usually declined.

Why?

First, I had undiagnosed PPD. It was so hard for me to let other people around my child. I felt like every person who came to visit was trying to take my baby from me.

Second, my son was born with small muscular VSD (heart murmur and hole in his heart) I never wanted to leave his side.

Third, I didn’t want anyone to think that I couldn’t do it on my own. I was afraid people would think my husband and I couldn’t handle a baby. That they would go to the hair parlor sipping pink lemonade and whisper, you know she had to have her sister come over and hold that baby just so she could wash her smelly vag and shove food in her face. Back in my day, I showered while holding the baby and cooking dinner at the same time. That happens, I’m sure of it.

So please, accept a little help when you need it. If someone offered to bring you dinner, take it! Your sister wants to clean your house? Let her! It doesn’t make you any less of a mom if you accept help while raising your first child.

Stand Your Ground

Now, this won’t be as long because it’s fairly simple and something I wish I would have done more. I’m going to say it loud and clear so you get it the first time.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO!

There are so many situations that I wish I would have stood my ground. I wish I would have spoken up. I don’t care what the situation is. Don’t want visitors, tell them NO. ( I know it seems condescending with the above advice.) A lot of times you will deeply regret not saying no when you feel you should have. Don’t worry about other people’s feelings. Worry about you and your baby.

Own That Shit.

You are a first time mom. Chances are every little thing will worry you and chances are there will be someone there to laugh at you.

If you feel you need to go to the doctor three days a week because you are sure there is something wrong with your baby who slept two hours longer today. Do it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Be loud and proud.
You WILL suffer from first-time mom syndrome, as it is your right to do so. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel inadequate. If needed use the following phrase, “kiss my ass.”

We all learn as we go. Yes, the rumors are true about what changes when you have your second child. We become some sort of seasoned mom pro. So take my advice new moms, or don’t, I know I wouldn’t have.

What lessons did you learn as a second-time mom? Did you suffer from First Time Mom Syndrome? Tell me in the comments!

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How To Give Mom The Perfect Mother’s Day

What Mom Really Wants For Mother’s Day


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Mother’s Day. The day that comes around once a year where everyone is obligated to tell Mom how much they love her.

Now, I’m going to be honest, I love Mother’s Day. I love a day that is supposed to celebrate me, a mom. To me, it’s not really about the gifts. (Okay, I won’t lie, I love receiving gifts.) It’s more about the fact that everyone has to try to be nice to me all day long!

I’m going to give you a list of ideas that you can’t fit in a little bag.

  1. Clean The House. I mean REALLY clean the house. Last Mother’s Day, my husband had our carpets professionally cleaned. I’ve never been more turned on. Seriously though, have you ever listened to your wife/mom complain about how she is CONSTANTLY cleaning?

Here’s how you execute this.

Wake up before she does and clean the house. If you are planning on making her breakfast, that’s awesome. I love when other people cook for me. BUT I do not like the mess other people make while cooking. I can’t relax while eating my Mother’s Day breakfast while sitting at the table staring at the mountain of dishes in the sink.
Unsure what to get mom for Mother’s Day? How about an adorable pair of shoes!

2. Plan The Day. This is SO important. Don’t make Mom wake up on her special day and then say so, what do you want to do today? Nothing says, I put no thought into this day like asking Mom, on the day of, what she wants to do.

It’s pretty simple actually.

You should know mom better than anyone, and chances are if she’s anything like me she’s dropped some hints about what she wants to do on her special day. So, plan it for her. Does she want to get a pedicure in peace? Call and schedule it for her! Tell her that you have the kids and she has an appointment to go relax. Does she want to do something as a family? Go to brunch? Hike? PLAN IT. Plan a picnic, get ready before the big day! Don’t make her do any of the work.

3. Let Her Use The Bathroom Alone. Every single time. You read that right, one full day of letting mommy pee, poop, and shower all alone. By alone, I don’t mean have the kids standing outside of the door screaming at her. I’m talking quiet, alone, non-rushed, bathroom time. Let her do what dad gets to do every day!

Do you know how often, as a mom, I get to use the bathroom by myself?

Maybe, and I mean maybe once a day. Trust me when I say it’s not easy to poop when you have two kids running around the bathroom, yelling at you, ripping the towels out of the closet. Or when you can hear them screaming for mommy even though you left them with daddy. It’s important to remember to not make mommy feel bad for wanting to wash her hair alone.

4. Tend To The Children. If Mom is a stay at home mom then there is a good chance that all she does all day is wipe butts, kiss boo-boos, and obviously, take care of the kids.

Do this for her.

Baby pooped? Change that diaper immediately! Is the toddler screaming in the kitchen for a snack? Get up and get him one. Let Mama relax for one day, it may seem so simple but to her, it is a huge deal!

These simple steps will help Mama have the best day ever.

Of course, you can go above and beyond with simple steps like these. Do you know what would start my morning off just right? Have coffee made before I wake up. I’m getting all excited just thinking about that!

Remember Mother’s Day does not have to be expensive. I mean it can be, I don’t mind that either. Most of the time it’s the thought that counts! Make that special mom in your life feel special. Doesn’t she deserve it?

What do you like to do for Mother’s Day? Sit around and chill with the family? Have a day to yourself at the spa? Let me know in the comments!

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Top Four Necessities Every Stay At Home Mom Needs

Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

I am going to tell you the absolute most important things you will need to survive your job as a stay at home mom.

Number one: Yoga Pants.

Okay, you know what. I am THAT mom. Yes, the mom who is constantly wearing yoga pants. And guess what? I don’t care! Before you roll your eyes at me just hear me out.

Do you know the last time I went to yoga? Probably about two years ago. Just look at my butt, my hips don’t lie. Do you know the last time I wore yoga pants? I’m wearing them right now.

So, why do I wear my yoga pants you ask? Why do I think every stay at home mom needs some of this goodness in their life? Let me give you a few reasons why.

They are comfortable. Have you ever put on a pair of yoga pants? Well, then you know what I am talking about. I am a stay at home mom, do I have to wear tight fitting blue jeans just to get pooped on every day? My jobs are; a maid, a chef, a chauffeur, and so many other jobs. I think I deserve the right to be comfortable while scrubbing other people’s shit out of my toilet.

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I can move in them. Duh, that’s what they are made for. I just use them for It’s nice to be able to bend over to pick up the 100th toy of the day without splitting them up the middle. Have you ever played “horsey” in a pair of jeans or maxi dress? If you have, then you will understand why I wear yoga pants.

Number Two: COFFEE

Yes, this one is a given. Do you need me to elaborate on this one? Without coffee, I am a momster. Do you know how much sleep I got last night? If you are curious please go ahead and read this post.

One morning without coffee and all hell breaks loose. I am talking I CANNOT FUNCTION. Your duties as a mom never end. From the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep. And sometimes while you are asleep. When you wake up at six am with the baby and walk into your living room that is filled with toys and clothes and you lay eyes on that sink full of dishes. Trust me, you will want that cup of coffee.

Now, I am not saying you need to drive to your nearest Starbucks and order a $10 triple shot soy macchiato concoction. A $10 coffee pot in your house will do just fine. Besides, I need a cup of coffee before I can operate heavy machinery so even if I were to go to Starbucks every day, I’d still need my coffee at home first.

Number Three: A Hobby

Yes, I hear you. A Hobby? Who has time you a hobby? What am I some sort of magical fairy mom who farts time so I can have a hobby? Okay, calm down. Yes, you have time for a hobby and yes, you need a hobby.

Why? Well, let me tell you. YOU WILL GO ABSOLUTELY BAT SHIT INSANE if you do not find something that is just for you. As a stay at home mom, you dedicate 24 hours a day to your children and your house. That’s 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Sure, maybe at first it doesn’t seem so bad. Then one day you will realize that you have lost yourself. You are a slave to your little minions.

Finding time for a hobby is so important. Important for you and for the safety of your little poop machines. You can find time, I promise. I do not care what the hobby is. If it makes you happy and you do it FOR YOU. Then that’s all you need.

Number Four: Wine

For all of you out there who don’t drink wine or coffee, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m stumped. For the rest of us, trust me, we need wine. Why is wine on this list you ask?

Children.

That’s why.

What is the number one thing that you cannot survive motherhood without? Is it on this list?

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Why Are Moms Always So Tired?

Being a mom comes with a guarantee that you will be tired for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Okay, I’m not sure about the rest of your life because my oldest child is two. I am convinced though, I may never sleep again.

My youngest is about seven months old now and finally sleeping through the night. She only woke up about three-four times last night for a boobie. Alright, so maybe she doesn’t sleep through the night. Why do I keep telling people that? She doesn’t wake up screaming anymore and doesn’t need to be rocked, bounced, swung, fed, changed, and the witness of an animal sacrifice just to fall back asleep. Thank God, we were running out of chickens.

So WHY am I still so tired? I mean my daughter usually wakes up between 5-6 am and my son usually wakes up between 6-7 am. With my daughter only waking up three-four times at night that should be plenty of rest, right?

Now that I think of it, I am getting plenty of rest. We start our bedtime routine at 7 pm usually. I don’t have super-mom powers, so sometimes it’s 8 pm..9 pm. Whatever, quit judging me. It doesn’t matter what time I start our bedtime routine because my son HATES SLEEP. If we happen to start our routine at seven and are in bed before eight, my son will usually fall asleep pretty quick. By pretty quick I mean around midnight.

Let’s recap. I’m getting plenty of sleep.

Falling asleep around midnight,  waking up three-four times with the baby throughout the night, then waking up between 5 and 6 am. Okay, I am seriously not seeing the problem. Even if I was not getting enough sleep at night it’s not like I do anything during the day except lay around. I’m a stay at home mom for goodness sake.

The only things I do all day with the kids is feed, bathe, dress, play with, teach, read to, care for, and change their diapers. Then I only do a few things around the house, such as cook, clean, laundry, dishes, vacuum, and sweep. None of these few things I do all day are tiring. I should have plenty of energy to accomplish those things I might do that day.
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I absolutely can not wrap my mind around why I am so tired! Maybe I am oversleeping. Maybe I have too much time to myself. I can usually go pee by myself once a day and get a shower every three days. That has to be the problem. I am relaxing too much. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, right? I’m pretty sure I just hit you with some physics.

I guess I will never know why I am so damn tired. It’s okay though, that is why God invented coffee. That is why God invented Starbucks. God invented coffee for moms. For lazy moms who oversleep and do nothing, like me!

Are you a tired mom? Are you like me and have absolutely no idea why you are so tired? Tell me in the comments!

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Why are Moms always so tired?

Top Five Reasons I Hate Going To Kids’ Birthday Parties

Do you know what I seriously hate doing? Going to kids’ birthday parties.

Okay, before you call me an evil witch just hear me out.

I am going to give you my top five reasons why I hate going to kids’ birthday parties. By the end of this you will completely agree with me. If not then I bet you can at least agree with one or two of them!

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  1. Screaming Kids – A bunch of little kids who just run around screaming for no apparent reason. If you didn’t load up on Tylenol or Xanax, this is probably going to make your brain explode. You will just stand there watching the other parents, praying that they will tell their children that there is no need to scream like they are being murdered.
  2. Crying Kids – SO MANY DAMN CRYING KIDS. It never fails, someone always falls down, or gets their feelings hurt, or is just a flat out brat. You hope to God it’s not your kid. Again, unless you loaded up on Xanax, the constant sound of whining kids is going to drive you insane.
  3. Small Talk – If you are like me then you know what I’m talking about. I HATE small talk. Seriously, I hate talking to people I don’t know. Unfortunately, I consider myself somewhat of an introvert and very socially awkward. I don’t want to talk to you, and let’s be real, you probably don’t want to talk to me either. I know we are just being polite but I would rather shove a pencil through my ear then make small talk with a stranger.
  4. Gossip – Yes, this gets looped in with small talk. For shit’s sake we are 30 somethings at a child’s birthday party.  Do we have to gossip?  I seriously do not care that you heard from your mom’s, aunt’s, dog’s cousin George that Debbie is cheating on Steve. Let me repeat that, I DO NOT CARE. I know some people live for gossip, and they just can’t help but tell a stranger a juicy secret. That person is just not me.
  5. Feeling of inadequacy – Don’t get me wrong, Pinterest perfect parties are adorable, and kudos to the mama who put it all together. I just am over the idea of a “perfect birthday party.” Like really, Debbie? Did you have to hand out party favors that include gourmet chocolate and i pods? At my kid’s birthday parties I just assumed the fact that I gave them cake was good enough? Now I feel like everyone is judging me because I didn’t plan super cool games or take a second mortgage out on our house just to throw a birthday party.

I may sound like a bit of an ass, but oh well. I mean, I DO take my kids to these birthday parties! Even if it hurts my soul I still do it! Usually I don’t let the other parents know how bothered I am by being there, hopefully they just think I am a super awesome normal mom!

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I a terrible parent for feeling this way? Don’t answer that.

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Why Moms Should Never Go To Their Happy Place

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I have come to realize that I go to my happy place far too often. My Happy Place isn’t exactly a ‘happy’ place. It is more of a quiet place where I go in my mind. It is where I tune out all noise around me. I usually go here when my children are being crazy, I just tune them out, and go to my dark, quiet, serene, happy place.

The problem with tuning my children out to go to my happy place, is just that. I tune my children out. When is that ever a good idea? I know this makes me sound like a bad mom, but if you have two children and you’ve never gone to your happy place, well, then you are a damn liar.
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I have been so tired lately, and really behind on all of my work. Obviously, that means my two year old needs to act like he does crack and be as crazy as he possibly can. He usually just runs around yelling the same thing over and over. This is the perfect time for me to tune out and think about what I need to catch up on. I can see him and make sure he’s safe, I just can’t hear him.

Tonight, my six month old baby was sitting on my lap, while my son sat in front of her playing with her. Perfect time to tune out. I blocked out the kids since they were just fine, entertaining each other. After a few minutes, I tune back in when I notice that my son keeps sticking his finger in the baby’s mouth. I hear him say “just eat it baby sister” several times.

In a panic I shove my finger in her mouth swabbing for anything he might have put in there. I don’t feel anything so I keep asking my son, “WHAT DID YOU PUT IN HER MOUTH??” He just looks at me and whispers several times. After about five minutes of me interrogating him and swabbing the baby’s mouth, he finally says, It was a booger

Why would you put a booger in your baby sister’s mouth??

He had no answer, he knew he was in deep shit. I finally remove my finger from my poor daughters mouth, and I see it. A big juicy disgusting booger right inside her lip. What is it with my son and putting boogers where they don’t belong? I had to explain to him that we never, ever, ever put anything in the baby’s mouth, and explain that she could choke and it’s not funny.

Next, I tried to talk to him about where he puts his boogers. I explained to him that his sister’s mouth is the worst possible spot he could ever put his booger. While explaining this to him I tried so hard to keep a straight face. I had to turn my head a few times so he couldn’t see me laughing. This is one of those situations where it’s not funny but it is funny. Yes, I know great parenting moment #135 from me.

The fact that my son feels the need to feed his sister his juicy boogers definitely shows me that I tune out way too much. Maybe he was just trying to be a good big brother? Maybe he knew that she was hungry and that boogers are full of protein? He was probably just trying to be helpful. I bet that’s it.

What is the most disgusting thing your child has ever done? I want to hear your horror stories!

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How To Make The Perfect Easter Basket

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I keep seeing all of these posts about making the perfect Easter Basket for your child. What in the hell is a perfect Easter basket? Have I been doing this wrong the last couple of years? Is my son going to grow up hating me because he found out I, er the Easter bunny, didn’t make him the perfect basket?

I won’t lie, I’ve looked on Pinterest before for some ‘non candy Easter basket’ ideas. I really don’t like to load my children up on sweets. Don’t get me wrong I’ll let them have some, but basically I just get the candy for me. It’s the same for every holiday, I get my son the good chocolates, then let him have one and hide the rest for me. It’s a mom win, trust me.

After seeing all of these perfect Easter basket posts, I decided I needed to help all of the other Easter bunny Mamas out there. The perfect Easter basket, is whatever you want it to freaking be! If you want tons of candy, bubbles, and toys, heck ya! If you buy organic snacks with educational only books, sweet! There is no damn perfect Easter basket. There is no perfect mom so quit trying!

I say there is no perfect mom, but I think I come pretty damn close. Since I am so close to perfect I figured I would share what I normally put in my children’s Easter baskets.

For my son, who is two years old, I would put:

Bubbles- lots of freaking bubbles. They entertain him for hours and they are cheap.

Candy- A few pieces of any candy that looks delicious to me. I shove them in a plastic egg then Bam!

A book- Usually something Easter, spring, or Christian related, because, you know, why not?

Stuffed Animal- For the last two years my son has received some sort of stuffed animal, he seriously loves them. So a cheap ass duck is just perfect.

Play-Doh- He loves Play-Doh and you know, I’m a cool mom.

BAM! That’s one cool Easter basket! I usually find a few odds and ends that I shove in there, snacks, small toys, paints.

For my daughter, who is six months old:

Cute ass headbands and spring outfit- because I can. (Here is a discount code so you can order something super cute for cheap!)
20% Off with code HELLOAPRIL at Gymboree

Teethers: Lots of damn teethers. I’ll get spring looking ones.

A Book: again, something Easter, spring, or Christian related. I want both kids to be smart, not just one.

Candy- Chocolates and candy that are for mommy only. It just makes me feel better that I didn’t buy it all for myself.

A stuffed Animal- because, duh.

She is a little harder because she is so young, if her basket seems too empty to me maybe I’ll throw in a rattle or a cute pair of shoes she’ll never wear. Maybe even a cute floppy hat.

Again, BAM! Two perfect Easter baskets! Super cheap and super amazing. There is no wrong way to make a damn basket, so don’t stress out thinking you are not doing enough, or that you will be shamed by all of the other mommies. You will do just perfect!

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