A Letter To My Husband on Father’s Day

With Father’s Day upon us I would like to take a minute to say a little bit about my husband. The father of my children and the most important man in my life.

Dear Husband,

Thank you. I know I do not say this enough. You go to work every day and bust your butt so we can have an amazing life. Thank you for allowing me to be a stay at home mom with our children. Thank you for supporting me and helping me follow my dreams.
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You do so much more than work though. You do all of the hard things that I won’t. Like, clean up vomit. Not only the kids and the dogs but mine too. I don’t even have to ask and for this, I thank you. Thank you for doing all of the gross work.

 
You don’t know how much I appreciate every single back rub. (Yes, I know I ask every single night.) You only give me a few groans but you still do it. After dealing with the kids all day it’s so nice to be spoiled by you. I know you deserve a back rub too, I swear someday I’ll get to it.

Thank you for loving me even though I am not the same woman you met ten years ago. I can no longer fit into those little outfits I used to wear. I have stretch marks that look like a map of the United States. You still love me, you still make me feel beautiful, and you don’t comment when I haven’t shaved my legs in a month. I appreciate that.

 
Thank you for always having my back. When it comes to my parenting methods, my family, your family, or just in general, you always support me. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with and you only sometimes make fun of my awkwardness. For that, I love you even more.

 

I am so in love with how much you love our children. You are the best father in the world and they adore you. (M always pulling your beard and ripping your glasses off is her way of saying, I love you, Daddy.) The kids are crazy all of the time. Where was I going with that? Oh, they are crazy but they love you. Even if you think they don’t show it.

 
Thank you for being patient with me. In all aspects of our marriage. I know you don’t get much you time. Just know that I notice. I don’t give you as much attention and I did before our kids, okay you hardly get any at all. I swear someday I will figure it out.

 
There is so much more I could say but our kids are waking up and ain’t nobody got time for that.
I love you, babycakes!
Do you have an amazing man in your life?? Tell me about him!

Father's Day

 

Three Tips For A First Time Mom

What Every Second Time Mom Wishes Every First Time Mom Knew.

If you are a mom, then you have been there. The dreaded “first time mom” that everyone jokes about. You are overprotective and over tired. You don’t want anyone to know that you are struggling. With that, you’d rather eat a dirty diaper than hear I told you so.

I was this mom. I didn’t want anyone to think that I couldn’t do this. For some reason I wanted everyone to look at me and think damn, she really has it together. It wasn’t until I gave birth to my second child that I realized I was an idiot.

Now, I know that we all need to make our mistakes as a first time mom. We have to suffer from first time mom syndrome, as I like to call it. Looking back, there are a few things I wish I would have done differently. Not huge regrets, but simple things that could have made me a better mom at times.

Accept Help

Alright, listen here mama. You either just pushed a gigantic baby out of your magical fun box or your stomach was completely sliced through and a baby was pulled out of your body. Yes, you are going to need a bit of help.

I was so neurotic that I wouldn’t let my mom take my son out of the room when it was time for me to get some sleep. I rarely accepted the opportunity to shower. If people offered to come over and help I usually declined.

Why?

First, I had undiagnosed PPD. It was so hard for me to let other people around my child. I felt like every person who came to visit was trying to take my baby from me.

Second, my son was born with small muscular VSD (heart murmur and hole in his heart) I never wanted to leave his side.

Third, I didn’t want anyone to think that I couldn’t do it on my own. I was afraid people would think my husband and I couldn’t handle a baby. That they would go to the hair parlor sipping pink lemonade and whisper, you know she had to have her sister come over and hold that baby just so she could wash her smelly vag and shove food in her face. Back in my day, I showered while holding the baby and cooking dinner at the same time. That happens, I’m sure of it.

So please, accept a little help when you need it. If someone offered to bring you dinner, take it! Your sister wants to clean your house? Let her! It doesn’t make you any less of a mom if you accept help while raising your first child.

Stand Your Ground

Now, this won’t be as long because it’s fairly simple and something I wish I would have done more. I’m going to say it loud and clear so you get it the first time.

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO!

There are so many situations that I wish I would have stood my ground. I wish I would have spoken up. I don’t care what the situation is. Don’t want visitors, tell them NO. ( I know it seems condescending with the above advice.) A lot of times you will deeply regret not saying no when you feel you should have. Don’t worry about other people’s feelings. Worry about you and your baby.

Own That Shit.

You are a first time mom. Chances are every little thing will worry you and chances are there will be someone there to laugh at you.

If you feel you need to go to the doctor three days a week because you are sure there is something wrong with your baby who slept two hours longer today. Do it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Be loud and proud.
You WILL suffer from first-time mom syndrome, as it is your right to do so. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel inadequate. If needed use the following phrase, “kiss my ass.”

We all learn as we go. Yes, the rumors are true about what changes when you have your second child. We become some sort of seasoned mom pro. So take my advice new moms, or don’t, I know I wouldn’t have.

What lessons did you learn as a second-time mom? Did you suffer from First Time Mom Syndrome? Tell me in the comments!

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Potty Training Made Easy With “The Potty Fairy”

Potty Training, the exhausting, messy, adventure that all parents know too well.

There are so many different routes you can take when it comes to potty training. The key is finding what works for your little one. Keep in mind no matter how or when you decide to potty train it’s going to give you a headache. There will be accidents, crying, fit throwing, screaming, tantrums on the floor, and that’s just you.

Since Potty training can be so stressful what better way to start the adventure of potty training, than with a little magical fun? We all know there is nothing glamorous about potty training so why not try to make the best of it. Having the right tools on hand is definitely important in starting the journey of kicking diapers to the curb.

Something that worked for my son was always having a couple of good potty training books for him.

Books that explained to him the ups and downs of learning to use the big potty. This gave him something to read while sitting on his potty and he would actually look forward to using the potty so he could read his special books.

potty training
This product was given to me for free – regardless all thoughts and reviews are my own.

The Potty Fairy is an adorable website that offers a bit of help to your kiddos. With a downloadable book, songs, potty training underwear to a blog on the website with tons of information for parents. The Potty Fairy has it all.

The Potty Fairy is in a way like the tooth fairy, a fun, magical way to help your child’s potty training journey. The potty fairies offer support and fun for your child.

So, go ahead and purchase your extremely affordable book, a very large cup of coffee, and dive in!

Head to The Potty Fairy if you want to check out this adorable book!
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potty training

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Thank you for reading! What tools helped your child with potty training?

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How To Give Mom The Perfect Mother’s Day

What Mom Really Wants For Mother’s Day


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Mother’s Day. The day that comes around once a year where everyone is obligated to tell Mom how much they love her.

Now, I’m going to be honest, I love Mother’s Day. I love a day that is supposed to celebrate me, a mom. To me, it’s not really about the gifts. (Okay, I won’t lie, I love receiving gifts.) It’s more about the fact that everyone has to try to be nice to me all day long!

I’m going to give you a list of ideas that you can’t fit in a little bag.

  1. Clean The House. I mean REALLY clean the house. Last Mother’s Day, my husband had our carpets professionally cleaned. I’ve never been more turned on. Seriously though, have you ever listened to your wife/mom complain about how she is CONSTANTLY cleaning?

Here’s how you execute this.

Wake up before she does and clean the house. If you are planning on making her breakfast, that’s awesome. I love when other people cook for me. BUT I do not like the mess other people make while cooking. I can’t relax while eating my Mother’s Day breakfast while sitting at the table staring at the mountain of dishes in the sink.
Unsure what to get mom for Mother’s Day? How about an adorable pair of shoes!

2. Plan The Day. This is SO important. Don’t make Mom wake up on her special day and then say so, what do you want to do today? Nothing says, I put no thought into this day like asking Mom, on the day of, what she wants to do.

It’s pretty simple actually.

You should know mom better than anyone, and chances are if she’s anything like me she’s dropped some hints about what she wants to do on her special day. So, plan it for her. Does she want to get a pedicure in peace? Call and schedule it for her! Tell her that you have the kids and she has an appointment to go relax. Does she want to do something as a family? Go to brunch? Hike? PLAN IT. Plan a picnic, get ready before the big day! Don’t make her do any of the work.

3. Let Her Use The Bathroom Alone. Every single time. You read that right, one full day of letting mommy pee, poop, and shower all alone. By alone, I don’t mean have the kids standing outside of the door screaming at her. I’m talking quiet, alone, non-rushed, bathroom time. Let her do what dad gets to do every day!

Do you know how often, as a mom, I get to use the bathroom by myself?

Maybe, and I mean maybe once a day. Trust me when I say it’s not easy to poop when you have two kids running around the bathroom, yelling at you, ripping the towels out of the closet. Or when you can hear them screaming for mommy even though you left them with daddy. It’s important to remember to not make mommy feel bad for wanting to wash her hair alone.

4. Tend To The Children. If Mom is a stay at home mom then there is a good chance that all she does all day is wipe butts, kiss boo-boos, and obviously, take care of the kids.

Do this for her.

Baby pooped? Change that diaper immediately! Is the toddler screaming in the kitchen for a snack? Get up and get him one. Let Mama relax for one day, it may seem so simple but to her, it is a huge deal!

These simple steps will help Mama have the best day ever.

Of course, you can go above and beyond with simple steps like these. Do you know what would start my morning off just right? Have coffee made before I wake up. I’m getting all excited just thinking about that!

Remember Mother’s Day does not have to be expensive. I mean it can be, I don’t mind that either. Most of the time it’s the thought that counts! Make that special mom in your life feel special. Doesn’t she deserve it?

What do you like to do for Mother’s Day? Sit around and chill with the family? Have a day to yourself at the spa? Let me know in the comments!

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The Loneliness Of Exclusive Breastfeeding: Plus Bonus Tips For Your Partner

Exclusive Breastfeeding; Tale Of The Lonely Mama. Plus bonus tips for your partner!

If you have read any of my previous posts then by now you know what to expect from me when it comes to breastfeeding. If you have never read any of my posts, first of all, why not?? Second, I will fill you in. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. Although I am a huge breastfeeding advocate I will never formula shame. So don’t bring any of that negativity over here y’all.

Breastfeeding in general is hard. Worth it, but hard. There are several challenges breastfeeding moms face. So many in fact, I wouldn’t be able to list them all in one blog post.

Not only is breastfeeding hard, but exclusive breastfeeding comes with its own set of problems entirely. I’m here to talk about the main problem that I have run into.

Exclusive breastfeeding is lonely.

Of course, it’s worth it, and I absolutely love the bond it has created between me and my children. Sometimes though, you miss adult company. You will often feel left out. Sometimes you often notice people won’t even invite you to do things anymore.

Why? Well, it’s simple. Because you can’t. Let’s say your exclusively breastfed baby nurses every two hours. That means you cannot be away from your baby for more than two hours. Right there, limits what you can do while away from your baby.

Maybe your baby will take a bottle every now and then and you feel comfortable leaving your child for slightly more than two hours. There is another problem. Your boobs. Those giant milk filled fun bags are used to being relieved every two hours. If you are not back to your baby chances are your boobs are starting to fill up, very large, very leaky, and very tender!

Hang on everyone I have to run outside to grab my pump and find a nice spot to relieve my tatas. Should be easy at this outdoor concert, right? Ya, no.

The problem is the world does not revolve around you, or your milk filled tatas. Life goes on for EVERYONE ELSE. Just not you. Sometimes it does not bother you and sometimes it leaves you crying into a box of Oreos for an hour.

You are fully aware that you will not be nursing forever, you are also fully aware that it’s not anyone else’s problem that you are a nursing mama. But, you are still lonely. It’s natural to be a little upset when your husband gets to go do fun stuff without you. Okay, it’s natural to be pissed. It’s okay that your feelings are hurt because your friends stopped inviting you to moms night out. You know why they stopped inviting you, yet, it still gives you a little pain right in the ole’ ticker.

Let’s say there is an event that you can bring your baby with, chances are you still will be lonely. The moment the host of the house or event offers you a private room to nurse your baby (don’t be mad at these people usually they are just trying to make you more comfortable) you instantly feel separated from everyone.

I have no problem nursing in front of people. But my baby finds it difficult to concentrate when there is background noise. This is when I usually take the host up on their offer to use the private room and nurse my sweet baby. Alone. Are you seeing a trend here?

Alone, this is a word I know all too well. Again, I would not change the way I feed my babies but I feel this is a subject that EBF mama’s need to talk about. And sometimes it’s nice having someone to relate too. Hang in there ladies, remember the benefits outweigh the struggles; and know you are not alone!

Bonus Tips: How to support your spouse/partner who exclusively breastfeeds your child.

That’s just it, support her. Try to understand her. Don’t become angry with her when she is crying because her feelings are hurt. She is breastfeeding your child. She is a mother who is trying to do what is best for your children.

Let’s say your baby is now nine months old, do me a favor, think of everything you have done without your wife/partner in those nine months. No matter how small/big the event. Now think of everything she has done without you. Think of everything she has done away from the kids. If this list seems a little one-sided; here are some tips to support her in the future.

  1. Don’t leave her out. It’s that simple. If you were invited to do something awesome that you know your wife cannot attend. (Be real don’t make her feel bad by half-ass inviting her even though you know she can’t go.) Don’t go. Don’t make her feel bad about you missing the event, simply don’t go. Remember you are in this together!
  2. If you feel you MUST go without your wife, explain to her why, and make it up to her. Again, don’t become upset with her if she becomes emotional. Explain to her why you feel you need to go to this event. Then try to surprise her with something special. Surprise her with something that will lift her spirits. You should know your wife/partner well enough to know what that is. This will show her that even though you are leaving her behind, you are still thinking of her and care about her feelings.
  3. Try to understand her and be on HER side. Sometimes people will become frustrated with you for not being able to attend certain events. You will probably become frustrated with her as well. Instead of saying “Ya, it’s all Debbie’s fault, she thinks she can’t go and will throw a fit if I do.” Say, “Sorry, I don’t want to go without Debbie, maybe next time.” You may be worried about letting your friends or family down, but try to remember she is your partner, you need to worry about not letting her down over anyone else. Stand up for your wife fellas, she’ll love you even more for it.
  4. Sit with her. Does she need to feed in a private room because she is uncomfortable? Or maybe your baby won’t eat with background noise? Instead of watching her walk into a room all alone to sit for 20 minutes, why not join her? Would you want to go sit in a strange room by yourself for 20 minutes? Uh, No. You wouldn’t.

Now, I am not saying that you have to pass up every little event. Or that you have to do everything together. Did you do everything together before your wife became an EBF mom? Probably not. But, did you BOTH get to have a life? I am asking you to put on your partner’s shoes. How would you feel? When she is done nursing things can go back to normal. I promise your wife will thank you for it.

Thank you for reading! Are you an EBF mom? Do you ever feel lonely? Tell me in the comments!

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Why I Sleep With My Children

Every night, in my bed, is an adventure.

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My husband and I co sleep with our two children, ages two years old and six months. (We practice safe co sleeping, don’t worry.) My son still likes to sleep on my face, which means his feet are up his daddy’s nose all night. My husband probably wishes our kids would sleep in their own beds. Then there is my daughter who likes to snuggle into me. I don’t mind, but I can’t move all night, and I usually wake up with a sore back.

The other night I was laying in bed, covered in kids, and I was irritated. I was so tired, my back hurt, I just wanted to roll over and get comfy. Then something hit me. A wave of calmness and love washed over me.. I felt so guilty for being irritated with my kids. I had tears in my eyes, thinking about how lucky I was to have my beautiful babies in bed with me. So I grabbed my son’s and my daughter’s hands and held them tight. Then I examined each of their beautiful faces, while I prayed and gave thanks for my sweet kids.

I don’t know what came over me but I needed it. I was feeling a bit “at the end of my rope,” with the lack of sleep and the lack of me time. Then I was reminded of how fast my kids are growing up. Some day, they won’t want to sleep with mommy or hold my hand. Just the thought of that absolutely breaks my heart.

So for now, I will let them sleep with me. Someday they will be grown and it will just be me and my husband in our big lonely bed. I will just plan to catch up on all of my sleep then. On the other hand, I’ll probably just stay up all night wondering if they are okay or what they are doing.

Have you read the book, “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch? I am the lady from that book. Every time I read it, I cry like a little baby. The problem is I will probably sneak into my kids’ houses at night and crawl in bed with them. Their spouses won’t mind, right? They better not. I let my kids sleep with me for their entire childhood, so the least they could do is let me sleep with them when they are grown! Is that creepy? Ya, I don’t care.

Snuggling them at night might be exhausting but it’s okay. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would rather go to bed in a full bed with a full heart, than in an empty bed with an empty heart.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? I know not everyone co-sleeps, but have you ever had a moment where you are overwhelmed with love? Where you suddenly feel guilty for being upset with your child? Tell me in the comments, I would love to hear your stories!

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Valentine’s Day After Having Kids









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Valentine’s Day with my husband used to be fun. We used to live in the big city, and we would always go to our favorite seafood restaurant.  (We were never overly romantic, getting messy with crab legs was romantic enough for us.) We would fill our bellies with delicious crab legs and giant mixed drinks that make it hard to walk once you’ve finished. Afterwards, my husband would usually surprise me with a new piece of jewelry, and we would go wherever the night took us.

Now we live in a tiny town where no one offers decent crab legs. We also have two children. For some reason now we act about 15 years older than we really are. I’m not kidding. We watch Family Feud every night. My husband and I go on a date maybe once every two or three months. Yes, I know, wife of the year award should go to me. It’s so hard to find the time or energy to go anywhere together.

Needless to say, the last several Valentine’s days have been uneventful. We made our own tradition of having crab legs at home. (My husband is an amazing seafood cook, thank the good Lord.) I haven’t been able to have a drink with liquor in it in over three years, and if I had one now I’d probably just end up pregnant again. So I usually get a nice water bottle, or if I’m feeling crazy a cup of lemonade. We top the night off with watching cartoons in bed, me sneaking chocolate, and wondering where my newest diamond is? Just kidding, sort of.

Although, I may long for the days of sipping ice-cold blended alcohol while taking pictures to show off my newest diamond earrings, having Valentine’s dinner at home with my kids is kind of fun. It’s our new tradition. It may not be romantic at all.  We may not get any alone time,  but it’s fun. It’s ours.

Let’s be real, as long as my husband brings me chocolate I don’t really care what we do for Valentine’s day. I am a chocoholic and I could sit on the sofa shoving my face full of delicious boxed chocolates watching Family Feud all night. You know what, that is exactly what I want to do after our “romantic” Valentine’s dinner. Just leave me alone with chocolate and Steve Harvey and I’ll be the happiest woman in the world.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

What do you do for Valentine’s day? Go on a romantic date? Involve your kids? Let me know in the comments!

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He Peed in What?!

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Potty training: One of the hardest parts of having a toddler. When our son E was about 20 months old, we went into full potty training mode. We read all of the books and articles; talked to friends who were parents of both boys and girls; we got all of the best advice. When we felt we had done our due diligence, we dove in.

We decided to go the route of letting him run around naked. Completely ‘butt-neked’. He picked up on potty training pretty quick. I only had to scrub pee out of the floor and break out the Febreze a few times. In my world, I call that a win.

Even though he was doing pretty well, we still let him run around naked. It was convenient for him. He could just run to his potty without having to notify us. Let’s be honest. What toddler doesn’t love running around completely nude? It was a freedom for him, a freedom he had never known before.

One day, E and Daddy were playing. They were rolling around on the floor, playing like boys do. Daddy was laying on the floor and E was standing on top of him. All of the sudden, I hear Daddy start to scream. A scream that you don’t normally hear out of a grown man. He jumps up off of the floor, and continues to scream.

I look at E, and he is sitting on the floor laughing.

Me: What happened?

Daddy: AAAGGGGHHHHH YUCK AAAHHHH $&%*!!!

Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT?!

Daddy: He peed!!!

Me: AND?!

Daddy: HE PEED IN MY MOUTH!!!

That is when my supermom parenting skills kicked in. I handled the situation with grace and maturity.

Just kidding. I was in the floor within seconds, laughing so hard I could hardly breathe.

Poor E, just couldn’t quite control his wee. He was having too much fun and unaware he was about to give Daddy a little golden shower. When you gotta go, you gotta go, right?

My poor husband spent an hour brushing his teeth. At some point, I think he swished with bleach. By that time I had already peed my pants from laughing so hard. I do feel bad for Daddy, but better him than me.

Do you have potty training horror story? Tell me in the comments?

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