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What Every Second Time Mom Wishes Every First Time Mom Knew.
If you are a mom, then you have been there. The dreaded “first time mom” that everyone jokes about. You are overprotective and over tired. You don’t want anyone to know that you are struggling. With that, you’d rather eat a dirty diaper than hear I told you so.
I was this mom. I didn’t want anyone to think that I couldn’t do this. For some reason I wanted everyone to look at me and think damn, she really has it together. It wasn’t until I gave birth to my second child that I realized I was an idiot.
Now, I know that we all need to make our mistakes as a first time mom. We have to suffer from first time mom syndrome, as I like to call it. Looking back, there are a few things I wish I would have done differently. Not huge regrets, but simple things that could have made me a better mom at times.
Alright, listen here mama. You either just pushed a gigantic baby out of your magical fun box or your stomach was completely sliced through and a baby was pulled out of your body. Yes, you are going to need a bit of help.
I was so neurotic that I wouldn’t let my mom take my son out of the room when it was time for me to get some sleep. I rarely accepted the opportunity to shower. If people offered to come over and help I usually declined.
First, I had undiagnosed PPD. It was so hard for me to let other people around my child. I felt like every person who came to visit was trying to take my baby from me.
Second, my son was born with small muscular VSD (heart murmur and hole in his heart) I never wanted to leave his side.
Third, I didn’t want anyone to think that I couldn’t do it on my own. I was afraid people would think my husband and I couldn’t handle a baby. That they would go to the hair parlor sipping pink lemonade and whisper, you know she had to have her sister come over and hold that baby just so she could wash her smelly vag and shove food in her face. Back in my day, I showered while holding the baby and cooking dinner at the same time. That happens, I’m sure of it.
So please, accept a little help when you need it. If someone offered to bring you dinner, take it! Your sister wants to clean your house? Let her! It doesn’t make you any less of a mom if you accept help while raising your first child.
Stand Your Ground
Now, this won’t be as long because it’s fairly simple and something I wish I would have done more. I’m going to say it loud and clear so you get it the first time.
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO!
There are so many situations that I wish I would have stood my ground. I wish I would have spoken up. I don’t care what the situation is. Don’t want visitors, tell them NO. ( I know it seems condescending with the above advice.) A lot of times you will deeply regret not saying no when you feel you should have. Don’t worry about other people’s feelings. Worry about you and your baby.
Own That Shit.
You are a first time mom. Chances are every little thing will worry you and chances are there will be someone there to laugh at you.
If you feel you need to go to the doctor three days a week because you are sure there is something wrong with your baby who slept two hours longer today. Do it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Be loud and proud.
You WILL suffer from first-time mom syndrome, as it is your right to do so. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel inadequate. If needed use the following phrase, “kiss my ass.”
We all learn as we go. Yes, the rumors are true about what changes when you have your second child. We become some sort of seasoned mom pro. So take my advice new moms, or don’t, I know I wouldn’t have.
What lessons did you learn as a second-time mom? Did you suffer from First Time Mom Syndrome? Tell me in the comments!
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